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The shape of things to come - an Islamic idyll

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in response to reader comment: The shape of things to come

Submitted by Ianus (Poland), Dec 15, 2006 at 15:17

Instead of writing a scholarly rebuttal of Avenger's fairy tale or delirium , as Susan correctly called it , let me use a different form to achieve the same end .

> ...Let it be clear, the future for those of you who rejects the one true God and the message of His holy messengers, is clear.

Isn't it a tautology "Let it be clear ... is clear" , Avenger ?

> And when you turn to Him and plead that you were mislead, as you ask for double punishment for those that mislead you, you too will suffer such a fate.

A short scene between the seventh heaven and the sixth hell

Dramatis personae : Allah, Archangel Gibrail , a kaffir

A Kaffir : Oh , Allah who art Allah ! Forgive me that tautology !

Allah : What do you want , kaffir ?

A kaffir : I was misled! ...May I ask Thee for a double punishment for those that misled me?

Allah : Hmm... A double punishment ? ...That sounds quite promising ! ... OK ! ... You there , Azrael , my beloved angel of death ! A double punishment for this kaffir and all that misled him! ... And you there Gibrail, a double reward for my Avenger , you know the one from the Pipes forum! Twice 72 fresh brown-skinned Arabic speaking virgins for his brave and brilliant exposition of the shape of things to come ! I love the verses from the beginning :

" Let it be clear, there is no such thing as a moderate or extremist Muslim. This is a fallacy propagated by Western orientalists and interests who are opposed to the resurgent Islamic influence in the West.There is one Muslim collective, the Ummah, who is fundamentalist and correctly so. Submission to the will of God is a fundamentalist issue, Muslims are not and should not be empowered to 'pick and choose' which aspects to follow - as do the misguided Jews with their Thalmud, where in spite of God's commandment as written in the Book of Moses NOT to oppress, they do so without a second thought. Not only do they oppress but they ask for more oppression, they lobby for it in the senate and their dollars and arms deals ensures it continues. And the Christians where the Anglicans take the word of the king of England as the word or God or that take a paedophile supporting Nazi as the representative of Christ on Earth; are they following the gospel of Jesus or the cult of Paul?... "

... Doesn't it sound almost like my own Exalted Quran in its best parts, does it ? ... But still I as Allah can't but point out a few things he'll have to add and elaborate on before he goes to bed with those 144 virgins ....

For instance :

> "While Muslim scholars were establishing the first universities on the planet

Avenger has to add :

"not counting those low-quality and ignorance-ridden institutions unworthy of the name of university run in the Age of Ignorance by the forgotten kaffirs called Greeks ..."

Otherwise some kaffirs may deride him as historically uneducated...

Archangel Gibrail : I'll someone from the first heaven to his local imam to instruct him on what to do, my Allah!

Allah : He writes :

> "procedures such as cataract removal, the peoples of Europe were living in huts in forests and along the Banks of rivers.

... on the whole it's how I wanted it to be at that time ... but still many Moslems continued to live under much worse living conditions...when I think of Fustat and other Muslim cities with constant epidemies, fires, filth , crime ...Small wonder that the plague started in Dar-al-Islam...

> "If it was not for the actions of Isabella and Ferdinand during the Reconquista, Islam would undoubtedly be the governing power in this dark corner of the planet."

I remeber one kaffir ...What was his name ? ...Hitler

Archangel Gibrail : Hitler ?

Allah : Yes! Hitler ! He said that had it not been for this kaffir called ...Charles Hammer ...

Archangel Gibrail : Martell ? ...

Allah : Isn't it the same ? ... Had it not been for him , my Islam would have totally won the hearts and minds of the Germanic tribes and thus the detrimental and decadent influence of Christianity would have never been felt in his empire ... He liked and respected my Islam so deeply ...

Or look here , Gibrail :

> " Muslims were trading and intermarrying with the native Americans some 500 years before Columbus even set sail from Delbos on his Christian crusade to cleanse the Americas using maps drawn by Muslim cartographers."

Gibrail , did I state that in my Quran ?

Archangel Gibrail : Not to the best of my memory ...But if a revised and enlarged edition of the Exalted Quran could be consulted ...

Allah : My goodness !!! The enlarged edition ! I forgot ! I was thinking just about the standard edition! So it's correct after all!

>" It is the fact that the Council of Nicea was convened as the Roman civilization was on the wane;"

When did it happen ?

Archangel Gibrail : 325 years after the birth of Isa ibn Miriam ...

Allah: And when did that civilization disappear ?

Archangel Gibrail : 1453 years after the latter was born ...

Allah : I see!... So it took some time before that civilization from the wane entered the sixth hell , did't it ?

Hmm...

> "Now, at this time, Islam is revived - yes your sons and daughters are not only sympathetic to the Islamic world but are realizing that the lies and hatred that is spewed by the Islamaphobic masses is nothing more than Hilter-esque Nazism."

What's wrong about this Hiller again ?

Archangel Gibrail : Hitler , my Allah !

Allah - Whaever his ultimate name , he was a friend of Islam. A Moslem at heart ...

> God knows best and as you plan and whisper in corridors, He is the best of all planners.

Why doesn't he call me just "Allah" ? I prefer this name to all other 98 names of mine... A prejudiced reader might think about whatever but Me! ... I am more than a god. I am Allah! ...Just like you Gibrail. You're more than just an angel. You're the archangel !

Gibrail : Yes, I am, my Allah !

> Such is the power of the real chosen path. Since 911, there have been more reversions to Islam and more sales of the Qur'an,

... Yes, but e.g. this Ianus from the Pipes forum ...? He bought plenty of cheap Qurans ...but what did he do with them ? ... Urinating on them and sending them to the Saudi Embassy was just a minor sin of his ... I'll punish him thrice at any event !

> "You are swimming against the tide. Or rather should I say, drowning?"

I wonder if my last prophet would have said it this way ... ? In my beloved Arabia it wouldn't be well understood ... "swimming against the tide in the sand desert"? ... Perhaps ... "Drowning in the quick sands " ... Why not ? ... Definitely , I'd rather drown and crush them in a sand storm than in the rapids ... Anyway, it will be as Avenger rightly warned them ! A good lesson for all kaffirs to remember and think over in the sixth hell! Double punishment for all and double rewards for all fundamentalist Muslims! Double number of virgins for anyone who follows my un-moderate Avenger! And just one for all modearte Muslims! ... Go, Gibrail, and announce it as my will to every imam in every mosque built in the Dar-al-Harb!

Submitting....

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