Some support words for you

Submitted by A very concerned reader, Jan 31, 2021 at 10:24

My very dear N and S,

I know this was for the lovely Alicia (I'm sure that she will have very wise and nice words to you too), but I just wanted to tell you that don't feel guilty for having given him another chance. It's something that abusers do all the time. They actually never leave. They come back to check if they're still have some power over you. It boosts their ego because they need this supply to feed the void inside themselves.

Good job on working on your self-esteem through healthy habits! And please, don't hesitate in seeking professional help to completely overcome this, because what you're experiencing and are still suffering from is Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Try to look for a counsellor in your area which is specialised in abuse and narcissistic abuse relationships because not all physician are trained to fully understand and address these issues. Don't feel ashamed. You've been with a psychopath, someone who is not fine on the head. You've been insulted, belittled and abused by two very sick people. From now on, block all contact means and don't look back. Do a list with all the bad things he/they did and said to you and keep it in a hidden place. Whenever you have doubts of yourself, take it out and read that list again to not let your mind play games with yourself. Remember always why you implemented no contact in the first place with this person. Little by little, the confusion you've been induced will fade away and you will have very clear that that man wasn't the man you once loved. He just never existed.

Enjoy your life from now on with your little girl! I'm on my thirties too, and I can assure you there's much more for you yet! And be sure as well that life puts everyone in their place sooner or later. It will! That happened to me :)

I'll be around if you need me. Please, take care of yourself and remember you have the strength if you ever doubt. You're checking now by yourself that life is much better without him. Enjoy it to the fullest!

Take care.

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