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Islam is all within and outside the relationship

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Good post

Submitted by Numina (Norway), Nov 6, 2020 at 14:46

Effectively, Lina. I cannot stress that enough. Islam is more than a religion but a lifestyle. And I can assure you that as much as these men say now that they can remain Christian or whatever they spiritual/religion is, believe me that once married (and sometimes this process starts before, as many men will need the women to be Muslim to get their families' approval for the marriage if they are taking the marriage serious and it's not a crime to get citizenship) they will push them to convert. This is for various reasons: 1. Kids must always ve raised as Muslim. Spreading the religion, which they considere to be the only and the right one, full of guidelines and code of life which must to be follow strictly (women in here need to know that there are rules for using the toilet, the shower, how to eat, how to sleep, how to have intercourse with your spouse, how to wash yourself afterwards, hygiene code. In one word, Muslims are copies of Muhammad's lifestyle, for women they follow his daughter, Fatima and also his favourite wife, Aysha), 2. Marriage is completing their religion (meaning Janah will be closer once they marry, same as kids), 3. They are told iy would wipe all their sins if they converted a kafir, regardless of how many terrible and severe sins they have committed, 4. When they get older, death and hell starts to be obsessions for them and suddenly, those who didn't look to be very religious, start praying consistently and perform all the worshipping and rituals 4. MEN ARE AND MUST BE THE PROVIDERS OF THEIR FAMILIES AND THEIR RELIGION, meaning that he has to ensure that wife and children obey Allah in every single way. Because obey Allah means they're abiding by the Islamic lifestyle. This is very important because he has been told/brainwashed that he will respond to Allah about this. 5. Women have to obey their husbands to be good muslimahs. And you can guess how much gain a man gets from this simple, basic and dominant view.

So, Lina, you can see the huge effort these men have to do to make a successful Islamic marriage. Why choosing women who they consider loose and immoral? There's always a gain. The reason you are seeing so many new muslimahs is because of all these reasons. Bear in mind that they're very convincing, persuasive, suave. They manipulate their wives without any trouble, know how to do it and how to get their way always. Also, they don't ever start this process until the women are completly and emotionally involved, like happens with money-asking. Women get trapped and after investing a long time (depending on their resistance) in the relationship (building up a relationship) and having developed deep feelings, they just cannot escape and they submit to their wills from A to Z. And this abcd only contains Islamic teachings.

By the time they realise what Islam means, what it teaches, how hard is to follow, it is too late. Their identities have been eroded, they don't know who they are anymore and need more than a good counsellor and a big amount of money to get out of there.

For the women who think this is an exagerarion, the reason is that they're still in the honeymoon phase where all is magnificent. In online relationships, note that this period lasts longer as there's no real contact. The person they thought they're dating is not the same for real. But unfortunately, the brain chemicals which intervene in the love process work in the same way and women have become dependent of these adept men.

So let's stress again the message. Study the Qur'an, the Hadith, how Sharia Law works,the family, the culture, etc. Do not take anything for granted and decide if this is the life you were looking for. And look for help and support because it is not easy to get out from these relationships if you're already in as they never discard you as long as they still can get something from you.

Take care, Lina. Always a pleasure to read your posts and knowing you're doing good.

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