Lou, move on and then no contact

Submitted by Keira (Australia), Aug 23, 2019 at 14:48

And please, close your FB account, instagram or whatever social media you're using now. I do believe what you are telling about his cousins, etc. They do this kind of creepy things because they need to have all the control over us all the time. So, yes, move out to another location and don't use media at all. Block him in your phone or even change the number. Whatever it's easier for you. And don't look back or be tempted to check if he is doing fine. Never again.

About we women being a property: yes, it is exactly like this. Once you sign nikah, you literally belong to them. I don't know if you did it according to the islamic Sharia law, but if so, the Muslim man has to pay the arranged dowry to his bride. This payment is like any other in our business world, meaning that entails that he is buying you to own you. Your freedom goes with it. Once they have you in there, all that comes after is predictible: because you are his property, you cannot reveal your body to any other man, or talking or even looking at any other man. If you ask them, once the love bombing phase is over, they will tell you that of course you are their property. (Before, they will tell you that you both are equal as Allah has decreed that in the Qur'an. That He gived as even more rights than men... Well, it is true the Qur'an states we are equal. But as you deepen in the book, you will see what equality means.

Well, in some cases, even if you haven't married them, they consider you his because he has already touched you. And then, they make you believe you that cannot go anywhere or escape from them.

Yes Lou, in Islam men are supposed to be the providers whereas women should take care of the family, do the home chores and please their husbands (!), and if she wants to works, he must agree on it. The profession has to be related to some benefit to the community such as nursing, teaching and not too much to choose. And if she works, she can keep all the money for her or can add to the family budget. It is supposed to be hers. But most of our Muslim men will tell you that dont dream, that your money belongs to them too, and that you won't see a dollar. As soon you earn it, it will go straight away to your joint account. Why? Because they are in another country different than them and need to have all the control if the situation. In their countries, you become a part of the male family and all their relatives will keep you controlled, but not in your land. With a joint account, they prove that you are a real couple who shares all the expenses. Besides, they control you financially, which unfortunately it is another form of domestic violence (also known as financial abuse). They know we Western women can be independent and strong, and money gives us that power. If they own all our money, and things go wrong (as they know they will really go), they know we will run as fast as we can. Having our money cut our wings. And these are the 2 reasons why they will never allow us to keep our well-earn money.

Lou, don't be scared. If he is not able to know anything about you and cannot sense your fear, he will find another way to get into your country. When they feel we are really useless and we have no feelings, they move on quickly because they have no time to waste. But if they just see that we still love them a little... well, we are totally screwed.

Move out, stay safe and keep us posted.

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