Girlfriend to Saudi Guy

Submitted by Amy, May 12, 2019 at 12:59

I have to disagree. My Saudi boyfriend was as sweet as it gets. He ended things and I was devastated, but after reading more about his culture and country, I see that he wasn't just after sex. I was, and still am, "mushrik" (as an agnostic) and KSA basically enforces Islamic law. In the Quran a Muslim man is forbidden him from having sex with a mushrik woman. Even if he'd taken me to an American court to be married, the marriage wouldn't be recognized in Saudi. Unless I changed what I believed, there was no way KSA would ever see us as a legal couple, and I wasn't even capable of believing Islam is anything other than a man-made. He told me once he wasn't sure how he felt about Islam either but that he had to maintain appearances or else he could be in danger. So I think he didn't want to get more emotionally invested in something that would never work than he already was. I couldn't ask him to risk his life, never go back to his home, and never see his family again on account of me. If I'd known just the extent of how not-permitted our relationship would be before things got sexual with him, I might have remained friends instead, to spare him the agony of ever finding it necessary to break up with someone at the height of limerance.

Why did he start things in the first place? When he asked me out I think he was lonely and looking for some kind of companionship. I don't think he anticipated on the feelings he got swept away by being as intense as they ended up being. I don't think he wanted to tell me because he was so caught up in the throes of passion. I could have found out all of this if I'd wanted to know but I was too high on the feelings as well.

Just a sad situation all around. I regret getting as angry about it as I did. His culture was what made him so desirable - giving him his intensity, humor, humility, innocence, and fierce intelligence - but it was also the death of us. All I can do now is look back on it and hope for a day when all the good parts of Islam can be retained without the soul-crushing romantic anguish.

Heartbroken as you may be reading this, don't hate your Arab ex-boyfriend!

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".