To Lorna

Submitted by Hope (United Kingdom), Nov 13, 2018 at 15:59

Hi Lorna, Firstly re your other post - they treat their own and their own wives completely different. We are nothing to them, non believers, infidels etc. Having said that I had no problems with my ex husband until he had got his Indefinite Leave to Remain and then the last 2 months that he was with me it was clear something was not right. He was waiting to go and of course he left. He just closed down, did not communicate, was on his laptop constantly etc etc. I am not sure if it was worse because he had been so nice originally.

There was always an end goal and that is what it is all about unfortunately. It all revolves around earning money for their, future, family and a Visa. After my situation happened a Turkish man said to me "he never loved you" and to be honest it made me really realise that he had not and his words probably helped me out as to where I was mentally at that time. I had been used as a tool for his own gain, that I knew but for a male from the same country to say it so bluntly it hit home.

Now I do not want to say that to you, you are ill and vulnerable and to be honest I think you can work out what has or is going on here. He did say that you are going to help him out (!) and you do not need numerous posts on here to spell it out. You have done what you have done because you said you had too, you needed to know Lorna and you are where you are. Now you have to deal with the "what next?".

I think it is clear from his actions (forget any words - such cheap talk they speak) that something is not right here, you know that because you have questioned it and posted on here. Just keep things sweet, say anything you have to, to placate him and not aggravate the situation. He is hiding you, the marriage has not been consummated and he is not with you. Where does he go when he leaves you at 12? You are alone in a strange country and like me were / are probably a means to an end to secure his future.

Like I said before you need do nothing on your return to the UK, just come home gather your thoughts and act as necessary. The main concern is your health and mental wellbeing at the moment.

Take Care, keep calm and climb on that plane back to safety and freedom. Stay strong and look after yourself.

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