Came to my senses

Submitted by Freebird (United Kingdom), Sep 9, 2018 at 19:59

Hello everyone here is my story. I have been reading posts here for a few years now, never posted until recently.

I am from the u.k, I was married for 28 years with 3 of a family all adults now. I'm in my 50's.my marriage broke down due to my ex husband cheating. I gave him a second chance and he continued to cheat. Found out the hard way, I slowly picked myself up and moved out the marital home with my youngest.

Online through facebook this Moroccan guy became a friend. I was not looking for any man in my life as i was looking to recover, but he was relentless, pursued me with very pleasant respectful messages every night. I told him what happened to me and explained I'm not looking for any romance, but boy did he show me then exactly what I needed. Kind words, support. I will be your friend, you can talk to me. You know what I'm saying right ? I was in the most vulnerable state of my life then. And he worked hard on me. Then I never realized of course. Every night he was a friend to talk to, just when I needed it most. Then I was unaware of people scamming others in marriage. I guess what does not affect you at the time your not always aware of.

As I'm sure many of you know. He asked me to marry. I did have my doubts at first, and did question him without being too obvious. Later in the first year I went to morocco to meet him and stay with his family in the family home. I was in no doubt he was from good area from a family with no big money issues, they were very hospitable towards me, I stayed a few weeks and did have a lovely time getting to know them all.

Fast forward 3 years in that time I could not afford to keep travelling as I do have a few health issues, so since the first meeting it was 3 years later I returned to marry. Stayed a month had a lovely little family ceremony stayed together in an apartment for honeymoon and was upset to leave him. Fast forward onto now, I have been married now for 3 and a half years to him, in 6 and a half years we have only spent 11wks together. 4 weeks as husband and wife that's it..because he has been refused a visa twice to join me, and I can't keep affording the trips due to low finances because of health issues.

I moved to an area away from my family for him to integrate into society better as he's muslim, where I live now has mosques and halal shops etc, but he can't join me here, I furnished my apartment for us and spent some money doing so, I had been waiting for last so many months for him to provide a home for me to join him, but different excuses appeared. I got tired of waiting and stress was making me ill so I told him we need to figure something out soon.

Fast forward to now, call it women's intuition or my gut feeling but I decided to check out some websites I knew he was on when he met me, several by the way, to hook up with foreign women, but I didnt discover that until I had been in a relationship for months , anyway, I browsed to check just in case , maybe God was looking out for me as I found him ! On a dating agency looking to hook up with women, he has tried to hide his identity by using arabic spelling and covering his head with a scarf, but it's him..same age same area and I know his face too well !

Anyway...I am not challenging him cos he will deny its him, I have told him I want a divorce as I have also discovered recently that as I'm non muslim and won't give him a child, I have no rights to any security no inheritance so no matter how much money he may make I will never have any rights to a penny ! So as I am not fit to work if anything happened to him his family can take everything from me. So I refuse to leave the security of my own country which protects its citizens. Why is a muslim man permitted to marry a Christian or Jewish woman if she has no protection if anything happened to him as his wife ?

Crazy...so now he's really pulling at my heart strings saying he only wants me blah blah so why then is he on a social dating website ? After all this time it has come to this...I wish I had educated myself more sooner ..it's taken a while but I'm still grateful I'm still here and never made the worst decision of my life. Now i need to go through the withdrawal process but I'm stronger than ever and i will get there.

This guy does not know I know he's on a dating agency behind my back and is trying to make me not go through a divorce, I thank god I discovered this now. I have given my heart and soul to this man I call my husband, for a long time now. For what may I ask ? Nothing I've had nothing from him , all I asked for was loyalty and he could not even give me that. Be very aware and careful.

Never let your guard down. My dog is the best companion I could ask for ! Take care hope my story helps others by the way he is several years younger than me.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".