Here is my situation

Submitted by Sagi, Aug 23, 2018 at 12:43

So here is my own story. I want someone to look at it objectively and give me opinions

I am 45 and met the Pakistani man online. He is 36. We met online about 2 months ago. We've been chatting and Skyping regularly. Mostly chatting though because when we Skype he seems to get pretty tongue tied. So far I do not see any red flags and trust me I have looked. A little about him.

He lives in the Middle East in the most conservative country in the world. Yeah. I'm sure you know which one I'm talking about. He has lived there all his life and has only been to Pakistan a couple of times. He is 1 of 4 siblings. 1 is married to a Filipina and the other to I don't remember where she is from. First time we chatted I was concerned about him being 36 and still single. He told me he is not married and he got out of a 4yr relationship with a woman that was married and didn't tell him. That was 3 years ago. He also sent me a picture of his government ID that showed is marital status as single. Apparently they put that on their ID over there... Strange to me.

So anyway we've been talking since. He has never asked me for money or any kind of financial help.He has a good job and is also educated in Europe. His mom is actually really sick and thats the reason he went to Pakistan the second time.

We planned on meeting towards the end of the year to see if we even like each other offline. I will buy my ticket and he will take care of everything else (I will still have my money just in case). We were going to meet in one of the neighboring countries to where he lives. I have mentioned that at some point I would like to talk to one of his siblings and he said there is no issue with that happening. I told him before I visit him. So anyway. It does not look like I will be seeing him this year, because there is some sort of travel ban going on where he lives to where they can't go to the neighboring country that we had planned to meet. Of course when he told me that I was like mmmnhh. Here we go. But thank God for google. So I googled it and sure enough he wasn't lying.

He told me from the very beginning that he has been told several times to speak up and say what is on his mind. It has been a problem in his past relationships which he has only had 3. The only issue I have with him is that he does not ask me any questions about myself. At least not enough to my liking. But as I mentioned he is very open to answer any of mine. I mean he knows the basics about my family, siblings, children, kind of work I do etc. But he is not inquisitive enough. I can't understand why. So I told him that I don't think I want to come see him because my comfort level is just not there yet. I need to know more about him and him me. He said its ok. He will wait that there is no pressure.

He has mentioned marriage. Not necessarily to me, but in general. That he is looking for a relationship that would eventually end up in marriage. I think this is more of a cultural thing.

He has never said "I love you" or anything of the sort. Or I am is "soulmate" or any of that bullshit.

He has also said that if we do get together the choice to convert or not will be mine as his brothers did with his sister in laws.

He did say that when he has children they would have to be muslim. I honestly don't care.

I told him I am atheist, which I have been for the past 4 yrs. He did not seem to think it was an issue. <—— So this is the only red flag that I can see from my end. Because from my research its considered haram for a muslim to be involved with an atheist. But then again he also drinks and thats also haram...

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