You are in cognitive dissonance

Submitted by Chelsea (United States), Jul 26, 2018 at 15:28

by you last post...I suppose you are still entertaining the thought of "maybe" Realize that they are different from USA. Very different.

I just would not risk it....especially when you have cognitive dissonance. You can google that and find out what it is. It is not wise to make a decision while in cognitive dissonance. Better to stay put young lady.

I pray for your safety and it is not shameful to be in cognitive dissonance or even denial. Pretty pictures are painted with words but the reality is quite different.

So glad that you came to this site. I too had on rose colored glasses but after putting the pieces together...I realized that he targeted a vulnerability in me and said all the sweet words I needed to hear....and why wouldn't he? He wanted something from me. He kept the game going when I came back with the lovebombing on skype. I was in cognitive dissonance. But I realized that he never lovebombed me or called me beautiful the whole time I was there....it only started back online when I returned to get him papers.
I am very blessed because I was able to pull my affidavits of support just in time to get out of it.

Had he come to the US, it would have been bad for him as well. Wasted 3 years of my life.

We had decided to go off social media during the processing time for the visa which I did and I found him on another app online behind my back. Also after I married him....he transferred his pictures from the phone I was using there and all the women he thought he had deleted came through to my computer which breaks it down by dates. All the time I was engaged to him, he was still cheating, and looking for the highest bidder.

He can have any woman he wants but he cannot have me. We have to respect ourselves and not settle for this kind of behavior.....what we allow will continue. I just believe it would be a major life mistake for you Jackie. Find someone local. These men will manipulate your emotions and you will never be put first next to his family. That is reality and his culture. Of course they will be nice because most of the time they are in on it. They want something from you.

If it happened to me.....it can happen to you.

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