Chelsea

Submitted by Lana(USA) (United States), Mar 10, 2018 at 12:43

Hello Chelsea
I am so glad for you that your soul is now at peace as mine is!!!!!
I hope that you are very happy with your new friend!
I am lately doing more reading in this forum than writing.There are plenty of vey good advices and I do not want to repeatingly write the same.
Every relationship has its ups and downs but with different culture it is 10 times ,if not much more,complicated....

Unfortunately love itself is not enough to build strong relationship.If there is more"I" than «we" in it it will not work.Love takes time to grow and it should be based on loyalty respect and kindness,and not only on attractiveness.At the end of the day you will not remember a person with attractive face ,but you will remember the one with a good heart who is kind, caring and loyal to you.
I am so done and over with all this MENA man nonsense.It is important to know exactly how your life should be and stand your grounds,and do not let anyone to change it for you,because if you start to change for someone else it will not be you...and eventually no one can walk on a tippy toes forever,pretending to be someone else to just to fit in....
I was thinking that if there is a true love,and a person fell in love with me for who I am and not for whom he wants me to be,then -why someone would want me to change and to become someone I am not,just to fit into their culture and be like everyone else?
It means that their culture and their way of upbringing will be much more important to them than actually having meaningful and deep relationship with you.As for them it has to be their way or no way at all.
Like someone said-love does not enters the equation here,as they see you as a childbearing and housekeeping object and their property.They can care less what your dreams and hopes are like,what kind of music do you like,what is your favorite book and other things that are dear to you.
He keeps calling and texting me(expressing his needs but never asking of how I am doing) which I completely ignore ,as if he does not exists.I blocked him everywhere I could,yet he keeps changing his numbers or calling from different phones, just to reach me.What for?To lie to me again?This is soooo ridiculous!))) Just curious what he will lie about next time...)))))He is so predictable...not even creative enough to come up with something new...Loser....I am so over it I have absolutely no feelings or emotions for him.No ,I will not respond.Nothing is more pleasure able for the person with npd is attention from you either negative or positive it is their fuel.So no I will not grant him this privilege.He is NOBODY to me.

No ,I will not be with someone who will treat me like an option and not the priority,someone who is desperate to see me only when he wants something from me,and not when I need his help(he was always busy with his own schedule even when I had a flat tire in my car and was freezing in the cold).
Actions speak much louder than words!
True man will stop at nothing to see you to help you when you in trouble and will help you no matter what because he will value you above everything else.

I am living my happy life,making new plans for the Summer,reading new books,listening to good music(I love Yanni,especially:"Love is all","Waltz in 7/8»,"Felitsa"....I am going to his concert this Summer and will meet him in person)))His music is healing!
I often listen it in my car or outdoors...I am at peace now with myself and that is what counts.

Much love to alll!!!!!
Lana (USA)

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