to honest opinion

Submitted by Jordana (United States), Aug 10, 2017 at 18:15

I was in a very similar situation with a Muslim man who has been in the US for a couple years and has lawful status. He never let me pay for anything (he even paid for my gas if I drove my car with him), and I met his friends and family members in the US. I, too, would start dating other men when he began to have odd behavior, like ghosting for several days or saying things that made me feel uncomfortable with the relationship. With my guy, I discovered that he had a 20 year old wife back in his home country (he's 34), and he was in the process of bringing her to the US. He liked having me around for attention and companionship while he was waiting for her to come here. After I questioned him on his 'hot and cold' behavior with me, he disclosed all of this very openly to me as though it was no big deal. I also think that he had narcissistic personality disorder and liked to see how many women he could attract. When we were dating, he would brag that he could have a different woman every night in America. I have no idea why he liked to keep me on his hook instead of one those hundreds of other women he could be with. Maybe I gave him a better ego boost.

I hope your guy isn't married, but I felt compelled to respond to your post because it sounded so similar to mine--early I love you's on his end; I was very vulnerable when I met him; and I'm an attractive young woman with a very loving and open personality. He may really love you but was never planning on committing to you for one reason or another. I believe my guy really loved at least in some small way. Alternatively, he may get a major ego boost from stealing you away from another man, but he loses interest when the chase is over, which is why you get nervous.

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