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Shalom

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Afghan - advice

Submitted by Elyse (New Zealand), Jul 25, 2017 at 04:02

Shalom

May I offer sincere thanks to those lovely ones who replied to my letter seeking advice and wisdom – Lina, Neptune, Amy, Chelsea, Prashant, Lana, & Luigi.
Although I am cognisant of the many risks becoming involved with a Muslim man, no matter how young and beautiful, I must let you know (in confidence - for I believe this forum to be confidential) something of my brief life.
I was married at a very young age to one, as some of you refer, 'of my clan'. This was a Christian man, to whom I bore a beautiful son to. To say that he betrayed me, may the understatement of my life. This 'Christian' abused me beyond belief. It started with silence/stonewalling, then hitting, raping, and ultimately burning me internally/vaginally.
All the while, he was a youth leader in the church we attended. He despised my Jewish heritage and hated that my son carried such lineage. When he began to hit my child, I had to leave. To punish me for this, he used his knowledge of my abusive childhood - whereby I was subject to relentless child sexual assault, praying to G-d, each terrifying time to help me. He broadcasted this information not only to his extended family, but to the entire church congregation, proclaiming me as 'tainted', unworthy, and further (unbelievably) blamed me for the abuse – 'You're a liar - old men don't do that to children, you must have seduced him!' I was under five years old.
Before my 'Christian' adoptive grandfather died (after ritualistically abusing me from the ages of 2-15) he called me to him - as a 15 year old school girl - and confessed all to me on his deathbed, asking forgiveness, which in my innocence I gave.
Although I have since (5 years ago) come to faith, receiving Christ as my Messiah, and being baptised (one of the happiest days of my life, with my son beside me) after much counselling, prayer, and help from both the Jewish and Christian community, it remains very, very difficult for me to trust Christian men. I experience nightmares each night, hence being on medication in order to help ease (somewhat) the panic disorder I live with, and to be able to function in the Art Gallery and at Art School.
As an addendum, my adoptive Christian family knows all of this, and disallows me to ever speak of it – silence and secrecy prevails. It's very real that I put myself at risk to disclose such 'family skeletons' on-line.
The beautiful Afghan, whom I have become close to knows of these things - through several gentle discussions - of the terrors I endured as a child and young bride, and has softly responded to me in a way that was lovely, accepting and validating: 'None of this was ever your fault my darling, my heart breaks for you as a sweet little child, and I wish to carry every pain inflicted upon you, and make a future with you that is beautiful, for you are a pure angel to me'.
He is the first man I have ever told, and his response was almost unbelievable to me.
In this way, I hold genuine admiration and love for him, as he may be the kindest creature I know, and I do long to be with him. Furthermore I desire to be intimate with him in way that is natural, gorgeous, breath-taking and beautiful.
And so I ask forgiveness and understanding for this transparent reply, but I do feel a response is in order. Once more (if you don't mind) I sincerely request wisdom, from such lovely members of this forum.

With all the love, Elyse

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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