Figuring out MENA "bad boys"

Submitted by Lana(USA), May 15, 2017 at 11:35

Hello Ladies
I could not figure this out myself either for quite a while....Read a lot of articles on Narcissism and was trying to figure of how come that behaving so bad makes us ,ladies to stick with them and ignore all those red flags of their disrespect to our feelings and needs...and then it hit me :

As soon as they figure out our weaknesses they try to feed us with their sweet talk and tell us what we want to hear.But then-their actions do not match their words -and this makes our heads to spin around validating our own sanity: "If it feels so good to be around him,then why it feels so bad when he is not treating us with respect?" Then"if it feels so bad to be affected by his bad behavior, rude comments ,and disrespect- why are we still together?Why it is so hard to get out of this dead end relationship?"And this whirlwind goes on and on in your head ,making you feel miserable and more involved,thinking of him and trying to figure him out.(Congratulations-you are now brainwashed!)

That is when the manipulation starts!

As soon as they put those "hooks " in your mind,they are sure that they have you attached emotionally and entitled to do with you whatever they please,using the silent treatment in alternation with sweet talk and affection-just to get what they want from you THEIR WAY,not yours,completely ignoring what you feel like or what your needs are.
And this dissonance with his actions vs his behavior makes you feel miserable but somehow addicted to him.

(Once it was very snowy day ,it was beautiful!The snow was pouring in large chunks and setting on a tree branches,it was sunny and looked like everything was glowing....and he asked me with his sweet talk to come and see him ,using all those romantic words,saying how beautiful the snow is and how nice it would be to have someone as beautiful and as soft ,to have near now ,and how much he misses me...etc.
The roads were bad and I had my car spinning on my way to him...but I was able to make it age,praying my safety all the way...we saw each other...had a good time...it felt like Paradise,but.....when I left his place,he never bothered to check ,if I made it home safely ,or if I am ok.
He SIMPLY DID NOT CARE AT ALL!!!

Caring for someone besides himself was not in his plans.

It did not click in his brain ,that at least,he should pretend to be polite and call or text me -to see if I made it safe home.Not even that....

That showed me a lot about him and his true intentions.
Guess what? He was dare enough to call me a few days later saying how bad he missed me(more likely because it did not work out with one of his other multiple girls,he has in his pocket ,and rotates time to time to see who is available )and how nice it would be to have us -him and me,together again.But I made up my mind and said to myself:"you lost me in a snowstorm"...Blocked him everywhere I could,chopped off my waist long black hair,he used to like to brush with his fingers,changed the color of it ,and trashed all the clothes,I used to wear while with him)
(How stupid and naive it was for me to believe that I am the "only one " he has! How naive are those other girls ,believing that they are "the one " for him!!!!Do not they smell my perfume in his bed or don't they see my hair on his pillows,or my hair pins in his place,etc.Do not they feel that he has "another woman" ,don't they guess it by the way he behaves around them?Looking at his phone all the time every 15 minutes as if he expects call or a text,he does not wants you to know about ,covering it from you so that you can not see the details? Or asking you for how long are you staying as if he was afraid that the other lady may walk in when you are still there?Discusting !!!!Aren't you afraid that you may catch an STD or even the HIVfrom such user?!?!?And he may care less if you do?)It is important to stand up for our values no matter what and do not accept disrespectful behavior by any means.
"Modest man",indeed!!!(That is how he is known among his MENA friends and relatives.) He needs a crowd to boost his ego or to bring you down so that he can feel better about himself.
Because in reality he is a LOSER,the fact that he hides even from himself.

MENA boys need to learn that there are plenty of the other good men out there and they -are not the last men in the world to cling to.

Ladies-make yourself your priority,respect yourself and guard yourself from those losers,and never settle for less,stand up for your values no matter who it is.We do not need anyone's approval to be ourselves.
We are perfect the way we are ,"God makes no mistakes ".)

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