All intercultural relationships are difficult to manage

Submitted by Nadia (France), Mar 4, 2017 at 09:57

Hi, Sorry to hear all that again. Well, when a relationship is not what one expects it is always better to end it. It is never too late to end a bad relationship. Better late than never, but the sooner the better. And of course it is best avoided but those men are so crafty and deceitful it's hard to resist their charm.

In both cases I see nothing wrong. The first man was upfront and the second tried but could not manage the Western girl-self-family triangle. It could happen with a Western man, with any man really. This happens a lot in many non-Muslim societies where the family comes first. Indian, Japanese, Christian Balkan, Jewish males all tend to always follow family tradition when it comes to marriage and children. Some Muslim and non-Muslim families are stricter, others much more permissive. The family-individual opposition is a hell to live. Many people choose the family out of convenience, some choose the Western partner, again out of convenience. In all cases there are regrets and relief at the end. Those men must have liked some aspects of their relationship with You but strongly disliked other aspects. Many people do not feel confortable in cultural settings different to those they were raised in. To give You an example:

I myself could not live with an Indian family in their cultural setting - eating their food, watching the Bollywood movies, hearing their language. If I fell in love with an Indian guy I probably will enjoy the first few dates, even out of curiosity. But I will soon get unconfortable. Same for him. A marriage would not be possible.

I like England and English people. I have lived there and I speak the language. I could live with the average English Joe, because although I do not like, say, the music, English men are very tolerant, accomodating and interested in foreign cultures. I'll cook Algerian shorbas and Moroccan tajines, occasionally Beef Stroganoff and Beef tongue, fish and chips Joe would not mind eating. I could listen to my favourite reggaeton, salsas, tango and so on and he'll probably like it as he will be used to this sort of music from his regular Spanish holidays. His family would not give a damn who he is with and my family would not mind as long as Joe has the required educational and financial levels and I'm happy.

Now imagine I meet the hair to the Throne and We fall in love. As much as everybody is tolerant and money is not in short supply the relationship could soon turn sour. I'm not sure I could stand smiling on the Palace's balcony for hours. I can not wear stockings and gloves in summer. I will die from boredom on a week long horse riding holiday. I'm not sure I could lazy around in rags on weekends or eat a pizza with my hands in the local trattoria. Plus every single mistake will be reported in the tabloids and will be upsetting for his family. Charles and Diana were not Muslims but the everyday problems and incompatibilities took their toll.

There We are. Do not be afraid to live life to the full and do not regret past love! Good luck!

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