To Marissa re:facebook, marriage proposals and dowery

Submitted by Nadia (France), Feb 27, 2017 at 14:07

Hi Marissa,

How are You? I hope much better. Do not waste much time talking and corresponding with Your scammer, please. It does not get You anywhere and only annoys You as You have already decided to end this sham relationship.

Facebook: I still get many friend requests from Tunisians, Algerians and other foreigners I do not know. My situation is complicated because I have lived in North Africa and many other places and still have family and friends there. When faced with a friend request I write to the person asking where we met and why he wants me as a friend. If they do not know me I politely explain I only add family and known people and do not wish to continue empty talk and answer their stupid questions. If they continue messaging I threaten to block and then block.

I often get Facebook suggest people I do not know because I am a friend of a friend of a friend. Scammers relentlessly scan and visit thousands of pages per day, join millions of groups and send hundreds of requests. Whoever answers and befriends them is subjected to a quick interview in order to gauge familial, social, financial situation of victim. If You go back You will notice most questions were of intrusive nature. They are not interested in You as a person. Their main interest is visa and money.

In Islam the groom has to pay mahar to the bride - money, gold, presents and all has to be bought with funds the man owns, not loans from bank, family or friends. If he has no money to support wife he does not marry. Full stop. No looser should marry enywhere in the world. If he is serious he finds himself a job in the Gulf countries, saves for a decade or more and can then marry. The mahar in Algeria is AT LEAST 150 grams of gold plus lavish ceremony and clothes and perfumes. A silver ring does not suffice, sorry.

University degree- nowadays does not garantee success and stable job anywhere. In Algeria a diploma of any kind or driving licence can be bought for about 100$. They have many false diplomas. It does not matter.

Rats are bullies - they never fully inform You. He wanted You to visit him and You did and as it was his wish he should have at least covered Your expenses. Not only he didn't he asked You money to pay back his friends. Well, that was his decision to come and it is his problem. Once there he pushes You to marry religiously quickly. A religious marriage should be approved by the brides father who, I suppose did not even know about it. In Islam the marriage should not degrade the bride and the husband is to provide a lifestyle and a standart of life equel to or superiour to the one she had before marriage. Can he do that? Good You did not marry him religiously! Because he can neither pay You a decent mahar nor look after You. He can not look after himself!

About job - he probably never worked but We never know. Rats are notoriously lazy and something always prevents them to work. They never even look for work in, say, Saudi Arabia or Bahrain, where jobs are plentifull, well paid and open to foreigners. I always tell them that. Not even one got interested or looked up the job offer. But they prefer someone marries them and brings them over for free.

You do not own him anything and that's it. If I was You I'd not answer his phone calls and will state my reasons emphacising economy and finances in a email. He wans money - he gets a loan or family helps him. He wants to come - that is his problem. He wans to marry - he has to find a victim stupid enough to fall for his empty talk. You can also say You are very busy all the time. And promise to call him back which, of course You'll never do.

Yes he will surely look for other victims and that is why reporting rats and naming and shaming them is important.

Take care and Good luck in life

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