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My dear young friend is so naif

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Getting angry

Submitted by Clover (Netherlands), Jan 22, 2017 at 06:09

First of all, my English might not be that correct because i am from Holland and don't correspond that much with people from over the world :) Hope you can get an idea of my concern in this story :)

I came across this website becouse i wanted to learn more about the marriage between an Egyptian men and a non Egyptian woman. In this case my very young (20) Dutch friend.

Her father had made an account on this website for coutch survers. Some place where foreign people/workers can help others in return for food and shelter.
Her parents had invited this guy (he is 25) from Egypt to help her father turning the attick into a loft.
This Egyptian guy had left an note on my friends fathers account because he had seen these amazing photo's (these photo's are there to give the worker an impression of where they going to stay and work) of my friend standing in the forest with her mother.
With a bright smile on hes face her father told me 'Yes he saw these pictures of my doughter and he thought thats where i would like to stay!' I was allarmed instantly. And even more when after a couple of weeks i met him at my friends parents place (she still lives at her parents place).
He was to smooth. I had some experience with same kind of guys myself, so i could spot hes type from miles away.
He was helping her mother, getting friendly with the rest of the family and showing all these pictures and little movies (from youtube!?) about is own country. Don't you have your own pics? He was cuddly with my friend but at some points puting her in her place in a realy firm way, but with a joke.
She said with a big smil, 'yes i think we have an relationship'. My eyes almost poped out of my skull hearing that. In these two weeks he was in Holland they had made several trips. To Amsterdam, Paris, and Antwerp. Ok, that wont last. I thought. He is just a Holliday lover.

After two weeks he left. Other workers came to help her father building the loft.
Because of that she was living at my place. She had to work on her study.
So, after he left, he wont contact her anymore i thought. But boy was i wrong!
Every day they contacted by Skype, several times a day. Even at night. Even when she was to tierd.
She became more and more 'in love'.
What suprised me was that her parents where completely supportive off this all.
Her father even wanted him to live with them and find work for him in Holland.

One morning she said that they had a fight about the different relationships and the number of people she had slept with. Well, thats gonna be a problem girl i said.
But she instantly said she told him she was not like that anymore and she felt so good and dedecated to him. Yup, thats the sound of a girl getting manipulated.
These little things of putting presure on her appeared more and more.
When she diddnt contact him about where she was, he got mad. And told her he was worried.
Telling her that she would not like it in Egypt because of the conservative ways of living there but that he was so not like that ofcourse. But that he still wanted to see her and for her to come over.
The thought of it being impossible to see each other makes her super sad and desperate. So she wants to see him even more.

Now 4 months later after he left and a milion Skype conversations, she went to Egypt with her mother (thank God) to visit him.
Yesterday she send me this message that he asked her to marry him.
I was shocked.
After 4 months?! Would you marry someone after 4 months when he was someone from Holland?
This is a major red flag i think.
And as her friend i see it as my duty to tell her to over think this really carefully.
Most of all sinds her parents dont seem to see any danger into this.

Ive been on the internet searching for information from woman with experiance with an Egyptian marriage and how that started and worked out. Most of them are not that positive.
And the things i red, how these man work and get the woman in there web, was almost exactly how this guy did.

Creating realy fast a 'deep' and personal band with the woman and her family i my friends case.
Saying al these perfect things the woman don't expect from an conservative Egyptian guy. Telling her he is different and doesnt fall for the girls in hes own country, because they are so conservative and he so openminded. Skyping each and every day, making himself indispensable.
Convincing with there smooth and perfect words. Marring fast and getting childeren.
Everything this guy told my friend. Till the proposal after 4 months knowing each other.

This is fishy right?

I responded to your story Chelsea, because it was a really clear and open story.
And very recognisable for my friends case.
Im worried the same thing will happen to her.

Submitting....

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Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

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