Consider THIS

Submitted by Luhx, Jan 9, 2017 at 15:08

How many women do you know that have lashed out verbally while drunk at their significant other? How many men? Take out what culture your boyfriend is from. I've had many relationships, and even in my own marriage my husband and I have had some arguments that have escalated to name calling. A handful in maybe two years of marriage. Everyone makes mistakes.

I've done it myself to my husband and he didn't engage me, but I said some awful things I didn't mean to him in anger. I have that problem though and have been working very hard on it these past two years and I've gotten so much better.

If you think any of these people would jump ship the first time someone called them out their name, then great. But sometimes people DO make a mistake. Now, forgiving a MISTAKE, a one time thing is different than letting it happen over and over again.

I was previously in a very abusive relationship and I ignored many signs which ended up with my ex boyfriend beating me for four years, until he almost murdered me. I was in critical care. I still have nerve damage in my back and sore ribs from them being broken when there is certain weather. Should I have left after the first time he called me a bitch? No. The second time? Probably.

But most couples do fight. Most couples don't fight civilized or with grace. Sometimes people say things in anger, especially when alcohol is being involved. I don't know many couples that can fight and casually in a calm voice say "Now darling, you are being really unfair right now and I feel perhaps we should table this for tomorrow"

Maybe those people exist, but I don't know them. So if it happened one time and it was just a couple names, giving him ONE MORE CHANCE and perhaps telling him he can't drink around you anymore (which seemed to fuel this) might be a way to give yourself a chance to give him ANOTHER chance.

If he doesnt want to stop drinking, or if he ever does it again you've made it clear you won't put up with it.

But to assume all people are perfectly controlled, with the best manners and will never hurt you with words is to pretend you are living in a world that simply does not exist.

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