The problem here

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jun 12, 2016 at 18:56

Hi Becca:

The fact is if you live in a country like the UK, international, on-line dating (strictly speaking dating isn't even allowed in Islam) is going to bring the potential for a scam, even if as your friends suggest meeting up with him to see if he's "real".

Meeting someone once or twice, Becca, does not give you much of a perception of who someone is, which is why so many of these are scams from the first time you two even talk.

Also, even if you talk everyday, it is not the same as meeting in person and there is really only so much you are going to accomplish.

There is *always* the risk that this is a scam and this could take away a decent part of your life, Becca.

My concern, aside from the fact that you've met on-line is him telling you about papers in Belgium. I would not recommend for anyone in your situation to proceed with this relationship. You may not have some of the classic warning signs, but he could have other dating accounts and social media profiles you don't know about.

These are things to consider as well, but overall, Becca, I think this could be a giant waste of time for you, because you've already noted you're not the desperate time who needs the "abnormal" experience of on-line dating, and it sounds like this Moroccan guy has been talking you into it, which invariably, is what happens.

I would even say the best solution would be for one of you to move near (not live together) the other for a long time and see what happens, but even in these cases liars and scammers are quite patient.

So, there's no way to mitigate the risk here, ultimately, Becca. I know that's what you tried to do more or less by writing away the warning signs in your story, and I have no doubt you are trying to be honest with us. I appreciate that you've gone through this site and it looks like from your story that you've been checking through things, but the risk will always be there, and trust me, it's much more of a risk than casual dating in the UK.

But again, I think the risk in these is always too great, especially at your age when you could be dating someone in your own country. The uncertainty and risk really isn't going to get that much easier, and if it is easy, well, it probably means you're being naive.

I just think that you can better when all is said and done in real life without having to check off "is this a warning sign?" "Is this real?" Being aware that you could be scammed, doesn't mean you won't be.

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