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My Story..Loving an Egyptian guy is an illusionReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Mel (United States), Jun 3, 2016 at 23:19 Greetings all, At the time I was having extreme doubts about continuing to date my Egyptian guy I didn't heed the warning & now I am healing from a broken heart & narcissistic abuse. I met my EGB August 2015 on a dating website. He was here in Miami training to be a pilot he was 24 yrs old. At the time we both were new to Miami & that was the hook he got me with. Being single with no family here for support. I had just moved here for a new job opportunity. I' m 26 yrs old African American Christian woman. He told me he was a non-practicing Muslim. I did have a concern about race playing a part in the relationship because I heard Egyptians don't accept bi racial relationships. I asked him if it would be a problem for his family to accept us as a couple, he said no, that they weren't like that but very welcoming, sadly this turn out not to be true. The 1st 2 wks were great he treated me fairly nice with compliments and dinners but from the start I noticed he lacked experience in regards to dating meaning he didn't know how to be creative, romantic or affectionate. I thought it was due to maybe a cultural thing or the fact that he was still learning English and American customs. I stayed with him for over 9 months, the relationship ended a few days ago but it was dead long before. I thought it was pressures from his pilot training that made him so miserable, I was willing to tough it out because I felt like I needed to be supportive & by the second month I was emotionally attached. After the 1st 2wks we didn't do anything else as a couple but everything separate he started making excuses about "studying" even for my birthday he didn't take me out, buy a gift or say happy birthday but instead I got "I have to study". I was heart broken but forgave him hoping things would change. It never did in fact it got worse all I got from him was lies and false promises! It started with emotional abuse, he just didn't care about my feelings or concerns & things I was going through in life and needed his support. He never helped me with anything never gave me any money but he had no problem asking for money. When I didn't give it to him he said I am not "wife material" because I would never have his back! I broke at this manipulation and gave him a couple of hundred dollars to help pay for a checkride (pilot certification test) I also bought other things for him and did things against my better judgement because I wanted to prove him wrong and that I was wife material who would always have his back. No matter what I did it wasn't appreciated or enough for his selfishness. He expected so much from me it became draining but he gave so little. Then the verbal abuse started he call me fatty, said I wasn't as attractive as his ex and that black girls were considered exotic sexual fantasies to EGB guys . The time we were together we never had vaginal sex but did other things not permissible in Islam. He had no passionate what so ever, being with him made me feel like I was being prisoned raped! When I started to complain about his roughness he didn't even listen to me but continue to have me his way! He also claim previous girlfriends never complained but enjoyed being with him! I highly doubt this to be true unless the girl was made of card board! He never hit me but told me he would if we were in Egypt because that is the common lifestyle there. He said his father and brother were both abusers of woman and nothing would happen if a girl even tried to call the police. But that a cop would laugh in her face for being unwed to the guy who was the abuser! This was so surreal me. I kept thinking do women in Egypt really live like this?? Abused! but must endear and obey? Shamed and called damaged goods for not being a virgin and having there complete freedom taken away. This didn't apply to the men just women. Men could do anything lie, cheat, steal, smoke, drink, take drugs, abuse even kill women without any repercussions. He described every one of his ex's as crazy... Having been with him I now believe it was him who made them "crazy". Since I've been with him I have lost 40lbs, my hair fell out, I got dark circles under my eyes, lost my self-esteem, got depressed & became antisocial. He was very jealous so to please him all I did was work and stay home. No fun, No life, No happiness. I completely changed from the jolly girl I was to a scared baby! I was afraid to do or say anything because it would set off his temper. I couldn't believe how bad it got now looking back! He never got his pilot license not sure what happen but according to him the school ripped him off but I'm convinced that his failure was his own doing and not the school. He said he was going to France to complete the training (that never happen). All I went though I still stayed. 3 wks ago he left back to Egypt said he wanted me to come with him and meet his family because now he was thinking of us marrying.... Really!! did all that I endear finally pay off!!! Umm NO! Another manipulation! He claimed to have showed his family my picture and they flipped out! Not that I was ugly but that I was black!!! His sister & mother said so much racial stuff and had such hate for me I was in tears. She's never met me or even talked to me over the phone none of his family did. I am black and that all but sealed my place with this family. They didn't care who I was on the inside or what I had endeared over the past 9 months, they didn't care that I was educated and independent. At first he acted surprised by their behavior & I thought he had defended me but 2 days later he turned his back on me and began to agree with his family views about black people. Views that didn't have anything to do with my personality or beliefs. This was the moment I realize it was time to let go or die from all the stress and abuse. If you are a foreigner dating an Egyptian guy please take a step back & KNOW for sure what you are going to go through. I was blessed to not have married him, move to Egypt and lose everything. I still got my job, my apartment, my car and most importantly my LIFE! Please understand that all the charm & good looks are not worth the devil inside. These men are heartless with ice in their veins!!! They will treat a dog better than a wife! Their families are racist and will ignore any type of abuse that he would inflict on you. Even Egyptian women are jumping at the chance to marry a non-Egyptian man for what reason??? FREEDOM!!!! This was my 1st & last time ever dating any type of Arab guy. I strongly suggest don't date Egyptian guys or any Arab guys! The narcissistic/me mentality these guys are raised to have from birth will destroy any chance of a happy relationship or marriage... Please ladies its not worth the time or energy. I paid a small price and learned a valuable lesson! I will pray for those who are still suffering in abusive relationships with Egyptians guys. Good luck to all of us to find true loving happiness! M Submitting....
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