Not always the case but be cautious

Submitted by Mandy (United Kingdom), May 15, 2016 at 17:42

Hi I met a young man last year while on holiday.
He is 12 years younger than me. He is 28 years old and we just chatted a lot about silly things never romance. He worked as a photographer in hotel.
He added me on Facebook along with many others lol. So I'm guessing he was looking for the one to get out of Morocco with.
After couple days he would say hi and how's kids etc nothing untoward.
As weeks went on he was liking more and more pictures and videos I put up. Started to chat more and eventually told me he thinks he's in love with me. I laughed and told him don't be crazy. Anyway it became hours on end on whatsapp talking about nature philosophy past life many things including relationships which I only had one previous and him no real relationships. I found it all strange to be a virgin at this age but he swore on his mothers life he had never did the deed as he never felt enough or he tried when young but never ectuskky got there.
We met up again after 5 months to see how we felt about each other and it was very strong. Only thing was as soon as I touched his hand he was excited☺️ I laughed it off he apologised.
Eventually we made love but it was awkward and very very quick. He apologised every time but I laughed as I could see it was all new.
Now he comes from working class family but who are financially struggling as they pay 2 university fees in Russia for his siblings. His mother is a private tutor. His father retired teacher and they have a nice villa in nice area of Marrakech. He told me he chose me. Should I be flattered. We just had to much in common and I look much younger than my age I'm fit and attractive blonde tanned.
Within no time he was talking marriage saying he broke the rules with me. I went to his home to meet his mother sisters but I already spoke to the sisters many times on cam. His mother gave him thumbs up.
A month later I went back with my kids and stayed in the family home and we were treated like royalty. The father didn't speak to me as he disagreed with the situation but I believe they had told him it was for the best for his son.
Anyway I've been many times with my kids to test them and him of course. I stay for 2 weeks and he never leaves my side. Runs after the kids non stop and me. Tells me he loves me and would die without me.
I'm not naive so I roll my eyes lol as I'm always thinking visa etc.
we spoke about that and he said yes it would be good to leave Morocco to work in UK but it's with whom. So I don't know which way to take that.
Anyway I read so many bad stories and I look at him and can't imagine him fleeing from me after visa but of course it's reality. He loves me now but in 5 years when he's more mature more money and a passport he might change,will change. He says I'm negative in this way but I'm just being real. Everyone in his area know about me and talk slot because it's not the done thing me staying there kids etc etc not married. When I go there to this day I only have to kiss him once and he is extremely excited so he is very attracted to me and he is getting better lol. He just seems to good to be true so probably is. I can't help thinking there's another side. He his very jealous but it's typical behaviour for them. Now I've known him a year and he wants to marry in June in Morocco. He's saying do it soon not bcz he's in hurry for visa but in hurry to be with me as time goes quick and who knows how long visa takes. He knows nothing and thinks it's all straight forward bcz he knows a friend who married a French girl and got there in few months.
His conditions in home for a grown man are not right. It is time for him to leave the nest for sure. He argues alot with his father and his sisters and he seems miserable with being there. He denies that but I have eyes. Anyway I've refused to marry. I got terrified. I love him but what if??? I'm done having kids. He says he don't want or need kids. I doubt that!!

So do I take the chance and have faith and be positive or do I say it's all for visa and be negative and run him down which I do a lot. I say real horrid things bcz what I read here. He says I am bad minded. Suspicious. Crazy lol as he loves me with all his heart. He's had enough of my bad thoughts etc and has finished it. Maybe he was genuine who knows but I was in bad relationship before and terrified of commitment and have man phobia. I'm Muslim by the way so are my kids which he said made it so easy. I converted 16 years ago but don't practice. So that's it. I feel terrible as he's so sweet and lovely but I just think he's like that now

. Oh I have no money and work part time and live in my ex home so I can't sponsor him either as I have no savings so he's not that clued up ha ha as I need savings to bring him here. He says he will save and get here himself once we marry. So bcz of all the stereotyping I've given this guy constant earache. Drained him. Made him unwell and now he's had enough. Such is life but I was just to scared to take the risk. I feel so complete when I'm with him and vice versa. He just kisses me 24/7 and treats me like a queen. Well just thought I'd tell my story. Sorry it's so long. I would say to anyone who only met online and hasn't stayed there and got to know the person how can it be love. Love is a big thing that can't happen online.

Please also if any man verbally or mentally abuses you(which apparently I've done to him) then run for the hills. I don't mean to abuse I just think all these moroccan story thoughts and I think out loud. Get rid of this man. He's not the one for you. You will find someone much better one day. Your only young once. Don't ever hate yourself bcz of a man or give up your will to live. I hope you can put him behind you and move on.

Best wishes.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".