don't date a muslim man

Submitted by Pam (Canada), Apr 8, 2015 at 11:41

Same thing hpnd to me. I am a non Muslim and even though I am born and raised in a western society I refrained from living that kind of lifestyle. I am a single mom, divorced. After my marriage broke I never dated as I wanted to just stay away from men. I met this guy and we fell in love. Or at least I thought he cared for me.

For 4 years I was lied to and treated like I was a dirty secret of his. It was like he was 2 different people. I was expected to be his wife when nobody was around. I thought in time he will start understanding and changing. He went back to Pak and I supported him. I guess all he needed was financial support. I could never ask about out future BC it was always result in arguments and him leaving. He would never take me out in public. I started feeling ugly and ashamed of myself. I would try to dress up and wear makeup to look prettier. I got severely depressed. Some days he would say such mean things to me. About my parents and how I was different from his people. I watched to much of movies and shouldn't listen to music. I ended up pregnant and he said we couldn't have the baby BC his family we could disown him.

I told him I was not going to have an abortion. He asked me to give him a chance to make things right and that we can get married. And have many kids. That he will give me a respectful life. His friends will know about me and our relationship. He can arrange nika in few days ..all he needs is 2 witnesses. And a molvi. I told him no. I was not making deals. He told me I was ruining his life and that if I had this baby he would never be apart of our baby's life. I knew chances are if I had the abortion..I would never forgive myself. But I never wanted to hurt anyone. Not him. I knew he didn't want me or this. And I regret having the abortion everyday. I thought he loved me. I did the abortion and within 2 days he was gone. I got depressed and hurt myself many times. He would come by and tell me that I chose to do abortion and let's date.. I threw out all his stuff and changed my number. I was called a whore. The worst things possible. He would say things like I made him sin ..zina. That he can't help himself. That I cooked halal for him bc of my own hidden agenda. That I did abortion BC how would I explain to children from different fathers

. I fell deeper into depression. I his everything BC my family would never understand. They would just confirm that he was just your common Muslim that used a non Muslim. A few months later he msgd me that he loved me and he will be back in a few weeks as he was in pak. He called me ..and said that he made the worst mistake and he sees me everywhere. Sent me pics .and said all these wonderful things. How he could never marry another person..it was always me His best friend told me he got married to some Muslim girl. We are nothing to them. Muslim people see our existence as a sin. They can hurt us play with our lives bodies ..our feelings..so wat? Allah will forgive them. They hide behind their religion and use it to hurt people. I always stood up for him and always accepted him. And he tore me apart and hurt me. Made me do the worst thing possible. There are many women that are being used and treated like this by Muslims. They think we are just here for fun. Bc no matter what we are different from their women. Its sad and pathetic BC I never thought any religion teaches to hurt and kill.

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