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Used for Money and Would Have Been Used for VISA....But Still ProudReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jan 9, 2015 at 21:13 Awakened a deep sense of respect for the people that managed to change my entire outlook. Observing how they have adapted to their fragile environment and manage to survive extreme poverty in some cases. So in other words, Julie, the poverty of Morocco is being used to justify a bad relationship you were in? Their wages are meagre the work hard if one can manage to find a way to make a living. Without resorting to some illegal activity, drugs prostitution and so on. Population growth is astounding with the average family having five or six children, in a decade this will double. Actually, Julie, the average family there today has nowhere near 5-6 kids. This imbalance…decent. Has nothing to do with your encounter. Then there are perpetrators where some as I have witnessed personally come from Morocco who claim to have good intentions. They approach you as innocent seemingly introducing himself or herself as truly having a love interest in you and/or use GOD'S name in vain. However, there interest is not in you as a person it is what they can gain from having a relationship with you. Whether it is money, marriage or both. Marriage is one easy way to flee their country. Money they can use to aid in in whatever endeavour they desire. The ideas are endless and the victims plentiful. Yup. And here you are proud to be one of them. As I have been a victim of these perpetrators more than once myself, which has given me good reason to write about this subject. For I got involved with a Moroccan man fell in love had a whirlwind relationship for three years. It all started on the social website called myspace. I turned this man away many times but he insisted to become friends. He wore you down. He wrote me on a daily basis sending me poems and all the romantic jargon. I knew it was copy paste material but still thought it rather cute. If a Canadian man your own age had done this and kept on trying friend you, Julie, would you have found it "cute"….or maybe creepy? As we got to know each other over a period of 6 months. The questions about possible marriage arose that his affections for me had grown tremendously and had fallen in love. He then exclaimed he wanted desperately to come and visit me, but had no way to get a visa or money to fly overseas. I was apprehensive about flying overseas for it was a long distance to a strange country and yet something inside me felt compelled to go and meet him. As a result I got all the necessary documents needed to marry and brought with me my brother for protection just in case this man turns out to be a madman. So think about this: you went overseas to marry a man you never met, didn't trust and were fearful to the point of bringing a male relative along, and you're proud? If you met a guy in Vancouver or Montreal, would you also be willing to marry him even if you didn't feel safe and needed your brother? Did your brother even try to talk to you out of this? Before I formerly decided to fly overseas I did asked him if I could confirm his actions online and he gave me two email addresses with both passwords so I could check on his accounts. Been there, done that as well. My myspace woman gave me passwords to her accounts as well. All it says is that you can't trust the other person, and in your case, Julie, you had no reason to trust him because you really didn't know him! I was a newbie of the Internet at the time Julie, I think this often contributes to the undoing of women in these situations. and did not take into consideration that you could have several email accounts in different names. Been there, done that with a woman I met on myspace. I later found out she offered oral sex to a guy just so he wouldn't delete her as a friend when we were financially/romantically (on and off) involved. Nevertheless, I did follow up on this of course and he seemed genuine. Even my bother had some conversations with him, which made me feel more comfortable. Been there, done that, too. Met a girl on a dating site who wanted to talk to one of my family members. She called a called a couple of weeks later while I was on holiday bragging about how she lost her virginity. When I did arrive there things went quite well we got married and I came back to America a married woman with only papers to prove it. Clearly he knew I would not want to reside in Morocco. I would have to learn many languages first and foremost among leaving friends and family behind. Therefore, the conclusion was to apply for spousal sponsorship. Therefore, I hired an online immigration firm that I found after the fact were students practicing law to undertake these matters at least so they said and during that time I noticed not one but many different mediators looking after some very sensitive material. Again, this could have had serious consequences for I was sending all this personal information to a firm I clearly did not have a clue about. LOL! So let me get this straight, Julie-------you're suspicious of an immigration firm but apparently married a man in another country the first time you met him??? The inconsistent standards here are a problem to say the least. In other words this could have been anyone. Thus, beware of who you are dealing with online even the ones who claim to be legitimate. One of the biggest problems on this blog is that women will post on here because they are not sure, but will then run back to their man telling him all about what we said. Scammers LOVE to talk about all those bad scammers. If you're telling them this, it gives them confidence because it may make them think you don't seriously suspect them or at least plan to continue on. Note: you are truly talking to faceless people There were times when I was talking to women that gave me the impression they were men. who can download anyone's pictures names and build a free website in hours. Social sites are now plagued with phony profiles everywhere. Well, if someone is impersonating someone famous, I think that gets taken care of. But what incentive do they have to remove scammers and liars? Hits are hits, and traffic is traffic, and both are good for business. Even if you confronted them on this, they would probably ask you to what extent it's their job to discern their relationship for you. During one of my investigations, I believe I found out that several "women" for abroad were actually taking photos from a Hawaiian models website. I was formerly on the topic of immigration in the last paragraph. In the end this so called immigration firm did nothing other than send my paperwork back and forth with highlights over many pages that I needed to correct and it was up to me whether I understood what it was that I did wrong in the first place. They in turn charged me ridiculous fees for the process. A good word of advice: anytime you are doing something involving legality, chances are, it will not be cheap. I suspect, Julie, most if not all of these ridiculous encounters end up being more costly than people think, and I mean more than just processing paper costs. Meanwhile upon waiting for the paperwork to be processed I would visit Morocco occasionally 2 -3 months at a time. Each time I was the one who paid for all the daily expenditures. See, here's the thing again: If this a man from your own country your own age, would you really put up with that? He said he could not find work and made remarks if you seek good employment here you must pay the price. Do you realize how absurd that sounds? A man who knows FIVE languages can't find employment? In his country, this was common practice and I did confirm this later to be true. How? By asking him or people he knew? If you were paying for everything, where's his incentive to work anyways? As a result I empathized with him; he had a way to make you feel guilt ridden for his circumstance. EXACTLY! If someone on here, Julie, asked you "did you send him money" your answer technically could be "no"…..but why would he when you're forking over the money without him even having to ask! And in turn said he would make it up to me someday. This was another ploy to make me feel more at ease. They ALWAYS seem to say that. I remember my myspace woman saying that, too. And when things weren't working out and it was time to collect-----"oh, they were gifts". After the whole process of waiting for roughly a year and half he had one final interview at the embassy, which he failed. I should have taken heed at the time of his true intentions after this episode. Yet I simply ignored my intuition about the outcome for I was in love. That is exactly right. You went against your better judgment, even with the good fortune of a government actually getting it right for once. What came next was the ultimate decision to sell my home along with most of my belongings to start a new life in Morocco. Thinking this is my only solution to our problem. Shortly after moving to his country he began to grow frustrated blaming me for not working hard enough to get him overseas. He was hoping for a VISA. Him getting mad about it clearly shows that. He was now placing his shame on me as if I was the one who failed him. This is trick that men use. If he can convince you it's your fault, you'll break down and give him what he wants. Some red flags began to arise in this relationship at this point. But I eventually forgave him for making this statement and put this problem aside trying to ignore the reality that he was just using me. He still kept showing his affections and blamed his outbursts on his fragile mental state. A few more months had passed and I would ask him simple questions such as 'What did you do today?' or 'Where are you going?' he would retaliate become very agitated and at times violent that I have no right to ask him these questions remarking ' I was invading his privacy'. This is when I truly began to get suspicious of his behaviour. I then asked him about having an affair and he denied any wrongdoing. I have had this happen to me as well. I was once talking to a woman from Suriname who said she was in the medical field, and my roommate at the time was, too. So when I asked probing questions, she said I was rude. Also the case when I called out other scammers. Either that or they'd want an explanation. Don't we all. Based on what you are saying, you can bet real money he was talking to other women, maybe even other men. Finally the relationship took its toll when I caught him online with many other unsuspecting women from many different countries. Spain, Sweden, Netherlands, Germany, France, Russia, Mexico, South America, Australia, United States, the United Kingdom the list goes on. He spoke five languages, which gave him the upper hand. Furthermore, sending them the similar copy and paste poems and/or using similar pick up lines. He had no idea that I had discovered what was going on. I still remembered his passwords and used them to keep vigil on his meandering ways. I found he had many active accounts HIFIVE, TAGGED, BADOO and much more. I decided to keep to myself for a while until I downloaded enough outstanding evidence. This time he could not refute or make another excuse. Interesting that he still kept using those accounts even after giving you the passwords. May have been a mistake, but maybe he also figured he had you in the palm of his hand. Later as the reality sunk in, I did have the opportunity to tell the authorities, yet I could not find it in my heart to see him go to prison for what he had done. I'm not sure if that would have happened. The fact that things didn't work out with you doesn't isn't a good enough reason, nor is the fact that you ignored all the warning signs yourself. And in Morocco things may be a little different in the courts than Canada. On the positive side he did not take my life; he only took some of my dignity, time and money and Oh. So now the gold standard is that he used you, but at least he didn't kill you? Way to aim high! it was a lesson well learned. Since you're so proud of this----you've still got a LOT to learn, Furthermore, I understand fully now how the underprivileged mind works and why they resort to achieve their desires, using any method they can. On behalf of Morocco LOL! Are you really saying this was done on behalf of Morocco, that the Moroccan people would sanction this, or that your former lover somehow represents the Morocco in that manner? WOW…… I would like to Thank-you for the experiences, because I now understand it's all about survival in a country plagued with crime that gives reason. What many first nations take for granted. So you had to be lied to and scammed in order to learn something that is basically common sense? As far as Morocco goes, it has a lot of problems to be sure, but as I said earlier, this was about the two of you. So I don't know what you think you've gained, other than what I think could be a more painful lesson than you're willing to admit, but if you think that someone who speaks FIVE languages and had routine internet access and all this time to talk to women from all over the place was in such dire, impoverished straits and that you saved him……have you ever thought he'd been okay without your money? And would even have given him that much money if you two weren't involved? And if you want to help people---go join a mission or a charity group. Yes, I know it's more boring and you may not get to hear a younger, talk, thin, dark handsome man from a different country tell you how nice and pretty you are, which means you don't get to show him off to your friends, family and maybe jealous exes. Don't be supporting a man who says he is oh so poor with skills most Moroccans probably couldn't dream of but has time to go and scam women from abroad. Which leads me to conclude… I' am a victim but I 'am proud of it! Except, of course, that you have nothing to be proud about. Julie, you were used and would have been scammed for a VISA had it not been for an embassy interview. This is about the two of you, not about some greater good that you think you have served---believe me, you haven't. I also think there's a big problem here if you like being the victim. If true, that is, if there is more to it than you trying to get a big rise from people on here, then you, Julie, are sending the message loud and clear to men everywhere that you have no problem being used and then dumped. Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. 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