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My Moroccan MarriageReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Julie (Canada), Dec 30, 2014 at 12:56 Author: Julie Coombs It's hard to believe coming from the North American continent where so much abundance surrounds us. Yet we truly fail to see the abundance amidst our daily lives. Moreover, most of us take for granted how many people past and present have sacrificed their lives to pay the price. What I have witnessed whilst overseas on the North-westerly tip of the African coast in the country of Morocco. Awakened a deep sense of respect for the people that managed to change my entire outlook. Observing how they have adapted to their fragile environment and manage to survive extreme poverty in some cases. Their wages are meagre the work hard if one can manage to find a way to make a living. Without resorting to some illegal activity, drugs prostitution and so on. Population growth is astounding with the average family having five or six children, in a decade this will double. This imbalance is ruining the infrastructure already in place at a high rate, and it will continue to crumble if sanctions are not introduced. In fact, other third world countries around the world are suffering the very same fate. It is hard to comprehend the magnitude of the problem unless you immerse yourself into these environments. Many want to flee to other countries abroad. So they can build themselves a normal life for they are tired of where there next meal will come from. Morocco like many other impoverished countries did not get this way overnight. One of the critical issues facing the country is the inability to travel freely like their British, European counterparts without already having some financial background. Knowing full well eventually countries like Morocco will suffer from this consequence. As I became more integrated into the country and spoke with the citizens born there. They told me many stories of how beautiful Morocco use to be. Clean no garbage on the streets, jobs were abundant, you were not forced to lock everything up outside, that overall people had a deep respect for each other. Now the question remains how did a country so full of riches and prosperity become what it is today? When I walk the streets in the medina I see many come toward me in desperation for food or money. They recognize I am not from there immediately, because I do not wear the traditional hijab and the blonde hair! As I continue to walk down the old stonescaped streets polished by ware over the centuries I notice merchants on either side peddling their goods on the walkways some yelling at me in desperation to sell me something and as I approach the stands I noticed them charging me in some cases more than twice the price for the local merchandise. As I learned quickly the merchants do not put price tags on items. This allows them to charge whatever they feel you're capable of paying. Here are other examples of situations to be aware of that caught me off-guard. I seen a big sale on clothing the price tags where on the garments listed for sale. I asked the lady in charge to bring me two identical blouses one in white and the other in rose because I liked the style I decided to buy both. As I checked out I noticed I paid more than the sale price for these two items. She exclaimed that the sale was only on the rose blouse not the white that I had to pay full price for the white one. So I declined on taking the white blouse. Later on that same week I went into the same store out of curiosity. I seen a different clerk at the counter and decided to see if this former clerk was really trying to take advantage of me. Sure enough I bought the white shirt for the sale price. Another memorable moment upon returning from Spain it was pouring down rain so I hired a taxi to take me a short distance from the port to the main street area. I could have walked there in roughly ten minutes. The man tried to charge me five euros for a three-dirham ride he was thinking I was a European. The streets are also lined with parking attendants. Which have no jurisdiction to charge people for parking their vehicle many are annoyed at this. For it is publicly owned and maintained by their government of which taxes have already been extracted. These situations are just a small fraction of the issues facing not only foreigners but residence as well. Although, there are few who have managed to make a good living there. And the ones that have do not associate with their poorer neighbours. I see the elite live in there fancy villas surrounded by huge cement walls as if they do not want to expose their eyes to the reality that lay outside their door. Isn't this a disgrace some have said "To have such wealth and to see so many starving in the streets". The overwhelming feeling of sadness becomes apparent on their faces. Almost everyday has been eventful; the only thing that seems to stay constant is the deep blue sunny skies, beautiful sunsets and the look of disheartened people everywhere who are powerless to travel, to find decent work, or to have enough money to pay for groceries. With the introduction of television it became apparent to many around the world how disadvantaged there lifestyles are and have been. Although televised material does have a way of over emphasizing real conditions. Nonetheless, this created a paradigm shift that underprivileged people can only dream of. Next came the upsurge of the Internet a way of communicating across the globe without paying lavish fees where few boundaries exist. The streaming of quick information at your fingertips, social websites have now become the main feature for extortion of your hard earned money. Furthermore, your personal and private accounts can be infiltrated too easily by simply agreeing to download an App. Yet we all get caught up in this web of deceit. Most sexual content is uncensored and gives viewers another distorted view of what is moral and decent. Then there are perpetrators where some as I have witnessed personally come from Morocco who claim to have good intentions. They approach you as innocent seemingly introducing himself or herself as truly having a love interest in you and/or use GOD'S name in vain. However, there interest is not in you as a person it is what they can gain from having a relationship with you. Whether it is money, marriage or both. Marriage is one easy way to flee their country. Money they can use to aid in in whatever endeavour they desire. The ideas are endless and the victims plentiful. As I have been a victim of these perpetrators more than once myself, which has given me good reason to write about this subject. For I got involved with a Moroccan man fell in love had a whirlwind relationship for three years. It all started on the social website called myspace. I turned this man away many times but he insisted to become friends. He wrote me on a daily basis sending me poems and all the romantic jargon. I knew it was copy paste material but still thought it rather cute. As we got to know each other over a period of 6 months. The questions about possible marriage arose that his affections for me had grown tremendously and had fallen in love. He then exclaimed he wanted desperately to come and visit me, but had no way to get a visa or money to fly overseas. I was apprehensive about flying overseas for it was a long distance to a strange country and yet something inside me felt compelled to go and meet him. As a result I got all the necessary documents needed to marry and brought with me my brother for protection just in case this man turns out to be a madman. Before I formerly decided to fly overseas I did asked him if I could confirm his actions online and he gave me two email addresses with both passwords so I could check on his accounts. I was a newbie of the Internet at the time and did not take into consideration that you could have several email accounts in different names. Nevertheless, I did follow up on this of course and he seemed genuine. Even my bother had some conversations with him, which made me feel more comfortable. When I did arrive there things went quite well we got married and I came back to America a married woman with only papers to prove it. Clearly he knew I would not want to reside in Morocco. I would have to learn many languages first and foremost among leaving friends and family behind. Therefore, the conclusion was to apply for spousal sponsorship. Therefore, I hired an online immigration firm that I found after the fact were students practicing law to undertake these matters at least so they said and during that time I noticed not one but many different mediators looking after some very sensitive material. Again, this could have had serious consequences for I was sending all this personal information to a firm I clearly did not have a clue about. In other words this could have been anyone. Thus, beware of who you are dealing with online even the ones who claim to be legitimate. Note: you are truly talking to faceless people who can download anyone's pictures names and build a free website in hours. Social sites are now plagued with phony profiles everywhere. Furthermore, another word of caution many websites selling the same products may seem to have different proprietors. However, I have noted at times are affiliated to gain the upper hand in sales. This strategy is commonplace throughout the Internet. Even Google uses unsuspecting want to be marketers to place ads over and above others for ridiculous fees. In the end you loose, for they charge even if your ad is just clicked on yet nothing purchased. This I call legal scamming. Many scams can ruin a person's financial status online in minutes. Which is commonly orchestrated by developing PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS and gaining your TRUST so be wary. I was formerly on the topic of immigration in the last paragraph. In the end this so called immigration firm did nothing other than send my paperwork back and forth with highlights over many pages that I needed to correct and it was up to me whether I understood what it was that I did wrong in the first place. They in turn charged me ridiculous fees for the process. Meanwhile upon waiting for the paperwork to be processed I would visit Morocco occasionally 2 -3 months at a time. Each time I was the one who paid for all the daily expenditures. He said he could not find work and made remarks if you seek good employment here you must pay the price. In his country, this was common practice and I did confirm this later to be true. As a result I empathized with him; he had a way to make you feel guilt ridden for his circumstance. And in turn said he would make it up to me someday. This was another ploy to make me feel more at ease. After the whole process of waiting for roughly a year and half he had one final interview at the embassy, which he failed. I should have taken heed at the time of his true intentions after this episode. Yet I simply ignored my intuition about the outcome for I was in love. What came next was the ultimate decision to sell my home along with most of my belongings to start a new life in Morocco. Thinking this is my only solution to our problem. Shortly after moving to his country he began to grow frustrated blaming me for not working hard enough to get him overseas. He was now placing his shame on me as if I was the one who failed him. Some red flags began to arise in this relationship at this point. But I eventually forgave him for making this statement and put this problem aside trying to ignore the reality that he was just using me. He still kept showing his affections and blamed his outbursts on his fragile mental state. A few more months had passed and I would ask him simple questions such as 'What did you do today?' or 'Where are you going?' he would retaliate become very agitated and at times violent that I have no right to ask him these questions remarking ' I was invading his privacy'. This is when I truly began to get suspicious of his behaviour. I then asked him about having an affair and he denied any wrongdoing. Finally the relationship took its toll when I caught him online with many other unsuspecting women from many different countries. Spain, Sweden, Netherlands, Germany, France, Russia, Mexico, South America, Australia, United States, the United Kingdom the list goes on. He spoke five languages, which gave him the upper hand. Furthermore, sending them the similar copy and paste poems and/or using similar pick up lines. He had no idea that I had discovered what was going on. I still remembered his passwords and used them to keep vigil on his meandering ways. I found he had many active accounts HIFIVE, TAGGED, BADOO and much more. I decided to keep to myself for a while until I downloaded enough outstanding evidence. This time he could not refute or make another excuse. Later as the reality sunk in, I did have the opportunity to tell the authorities, yet I could not find it in my heart to see him go to prison for what he had done. On the positive side he did not take my life; he only took some of my dignity, time and money and it was a lesson well learned. Furthermore, I understand fully now how the underprivileged mind works and why they resort to achieve their desires, using any method they can. On behalf of Morocco I would like to Thank-you for the experiences, because I now understand it's all about survival in a country plagued with crime that gives reason. What many first nations take for granted. Which leads me to conclude… I' am a victim but I 'am proud of it! Submitting....
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