To Fly or Not to Fly----Muslim man, Jewish Woman, German Citizenship

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Nov 26, 2013 at 15:44

Martina:

This is giving me anxiety. I have known him online for almost a year now. We talk via Skype. I fell in Love, he swears his undying love. I am scheduled to fly over there first week of January. I am jewish, living in the U.S, but still have German citizienship. He says he doesn't care, just wants to be with me. Citizenship status of no importance.

If only I had an American dollar every time I heard that. In fact, I've had women tell me the same thing.

It's the same old tired lines, and no, I don't think you two have true love, Martina. For one thing, you can't even decide whether or not you trust him enough to meet him even in person.

His family of lawyers and teachers, invited me to stay with them in their house. I trust educated people and they seem very open, up-front and definitely not fantatical. I don't know what to do??

I've got news for you Martina: the really good scammers and liars are always upfront with people. In fact, some of them will even tell how you stupid "those scammers" really are and aren't shy about talking about it.

And fanatical? If you mean terrorists, I think the vast majority of men discussed on this site are not terrorists. Some of them just a VISA, others are thinking in the back of their mind they want their feminist-leaning Western female partner with an advanced educaiton to be a stay-at-home Mom who raises the kids, does the dishes and isn't allowed to have male friends.

Even the "educated" in the Third World can have more conservative leanings and may expect that from you without hestitation.

My adivce to you, Martina, is to discontinue this relationship. Talking to someone on skype or the internet exclusively creates too much uncertainty and leads to very little good. You're spending too much time worrying about it when you could have a relationship in real life with someone you can see often with the cares and baggage that skype brings.

The reason you are on here, Martina, is because you have doubts, and now that you've seen the comments, you are worried this your relationship could go bad and you are not in situation where you can see him often enough to actually know him.

I understand the strong feelings and the attraction, Martina, but you are not in true love and your doubts won't be going away anytime soon.

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