Daughter in Love, St. Louis, Iraq, Muslim Man

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jul 5, 2013 at 23:14

Welcome Marianna

From what you have said, I think your concerns are justified.

I think that both your daughter and her partner are kidding themselves (it's possible he's just playing nice for now) if they think that religion won't be an issue or that it will be easy for her to stay Christian. I also can see there being some kind of scenario where there could be a pull to go to Iraq and again wonder if they are being naive and kidding themselves.

Also, the changing of the wedding away from the Church should concern you as well---And am I to understand this man wants to get Baptized in a Church, but not married in one?

From what I see, either he doesn't understand the importance of the Sacraments, or he is just doing this to shut people up and make them happy.

I know in my Church that Baptism and Marriage are not handed out like candy. You need to prove you're serious about it.

I've always had some skepticism about people who are in a relationship and their geninue conversion in a situation like this. Makes you wonder if the persoin or God comes first.

The bottom line here that all parties would be well advised to consider is that one cannot fool God.

The best thing you can do is have your daughter come to this blog and read the stories on here. There's a lot of comments, but it's a worthwhile read.

Most of the stories on here do involve on-line relationships and there is an international component as well, but I still think she might find something useful.

The "Not without my daughter" scenarios can happen to varying degrees, but a lot of times these types of relationships and even marriages end up being more of miserable headache than anything else.

I'm curious----you say he is immature. How so? Is your daughter older than him? Did she meet him right after a bad relationship and swear off all American men?

Those are the trends most prevalent on here.

Also, speaking as a fairly religiious person by today's standards, your daugther needs to realize that a man who has religion and family central to his life will not give that up so easily----even if he decides to have sex, go to parties or the bar. Plenty of men will "take a break" from their reliigon to have fun with girls who are willing.

This is not to demaean your daughter, but the reality is that some religious men with this mentality are thinking "this is just for kicks, I'll marry someone from my own religion/culture".

The problem too is that he doesn't have to be a member of al quedia to screw her over and there is a lot of gray area among fruitless relationships. I guess there's always the jihadist who wants to marry and convert non-Musim women, but a lot of stories on here seem to be more about personal selfishness, getting into a better country or ripping someone off as opposed to advancing some kind of religious or poltiical goal.

Even if he is not some kind of liar or scammer, I'm just not convinced that either party here has any idea what could be in store and I wonder how well they've even talked things through, because you've already noted some glariing inconsistencies.

I can advise that if your daughter is giving him free passes because of his nationality, religion or race, it's time for her to leave.

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