To Lilia: The Danger of Looking for Just a Fling and On-line Dating

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jun 13, 2013 at 23:12

Lilia:

Thank you for your contribution.

There are a couple of concerns I wish to address.

First of all, on-line dating when done internationally opens a person up to a whole set of scandals and scams in addition to the usual bad apples and oddballs.

Locally, on-line dating is fine if its to get the ball rolling and to meet people. Let's face it: for some people, just figuring out if someone even wants a relationship can be half the battle, and in my observations if you're on a regular, non-adult dating site and are anything but single or you claim to be "looking for friends", you'll stand out.

However, if one's intention is to just have exclusive relationships on-line, that's neither healthy nor productive and frankly, you don't always know who you are talking to.

I also wanted to address the encouragement of flings.

I think that's a bad idea for this site. Please understand that a lot of women on here really, really struggle and have some pretty strong feelings. I didn't see you mention your age, but in a lot of cases, the women are 3-20 years older than their partner, so the insecurity of him leaving for a younger woman is probably present a lot and doesn't help either.

What also happens even if a woman is looking for a fling (and I would even caution you on this) is that these men are not like Russian or Western/First World men who stereotypically may have a drug problem or not know the dating game.

Men who are professional scammers on-line or who are just good liars with experience and are willing to take chances for their own selfish ends know the game very well, inside and out.

And if a woman who's been married or even with a man for 15-20 years gets a divorce, moves out or whatever---she's particularly vulnerable and it's sort of an unwritten rule among men that women in these situations can be "easy"---even if temporarily because of their shock and trauma or even just the normal adjustment into a new situation.

So, as I said, women on here a lot of times really do struggle, even when they know its a sham or the relationship "has run its course" as Isis said.

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