My guardian Angels

Submitted by Cindy (Canada), May 31, 2013 at 18:25

Hello my Guardian Angel. And you are indeed my Guardian Angel! I feel God has sent you to me. To help me to cut the last thread before its too late. I have pined for him here and there this past week, but its been mixed with anger and a feeling of why didn't i see this earlier. I have so much going on in my life lately, my ex is driving me insane, my family is falling apart, and I did have an emotional meltdown on Tuesday. So much coming at me at once. Too much. I am dealing with an abusive ex, and i had to go to a hotel on tuesday and wednesday because of it. And this Egyptian man has tried to text me through my cell phone here and there, professing he loves me and not to leave him all alone.

I feel sorry for him but more than that I am angry at him because I don't think he is being truthful. This latest email to me is a big eye opener, I don't have the emotional strength to continue a relationship based on what if? What if he is being honest, what if he loves me, what if what if.........no, I have to save what strength I have left to get out with the emotianal health i have left. Which isn't much. After I read your post, I put my head down on the table and sobbed. I sobbed for the mess of my life, I sobbed because so many people tried to tell me please Cindy stop this madness, and I didn;t listen. I thought he actually loved me! I am learning to love myself more as the days go on and I am somehow gaining back some strength. I am in survival mode these days emotionally speaking and I cannot have him suck what little strength I have in me anymore.

I need to be strong for my family, who are struggling with their own set of problems right now. Then once I am able to think I am worthy of true love, I can then keep a good realtionship going. I have met some great guys lately, but I am not entering into anything serious right now. That's not fair to me or the guy either. One day things will be much better. And I will always be thankful to God for sending you to rescue me from certain death. Because I would be brought back to Canada in a box. And now, that's not going to happen. I won't let it. I will keep you updated on how things are going with my life. One day at a time I tell myself, each day is a new day to try harder and to work towards something better. :)

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