To Becs: Returning to Egypt to be with him again

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), May 19, 2013 at 20:11

Hi Becs

I am only about 5 years older than him and met about a year and a half ago.. Fell in love head over heels and moved out to Egypt to live with him..

Considering his insecurity and jealousy, I'd say the difference is more than 5 years in reality as opposed to on paper.

He did treat me like a princess, never left my side to go out with friends always included me and took me out.. But after 8 months or so he did begin to show his jealous side, I couldn't talk to make colleagues, had to tell him where I was going etc

I doubt this will change. You would be giving your freedom to cater to his whims. I'll bet you'd get sick of again after a while. All of that lovey-dovey, honeymoon stuff wears off.

As UK Alpha marriage commentator Sila Lee says: "Eventually, loving someone becomes a choice".

You already know you didn't like that life. Why make the same mistake again?

Real life kicked in and the rose tinted glasses came off.. He never did wrong was just himself but the country and culture was now worlds away from what I know.

I panicked and started to doubt my future there as I was used to nice holidays, freedom, independence etc etc and wanted the same for any dependent children.. I decided to leave Egypt in January this year.. ,

That's good, because as reader Isis says "Islam is very much a man's world". So if you are living in Egypt, which a more turbulent place to be these days, your ex has a lot of supporting cast among his peers (women included) and the new government at running your life to a large extent, including the rearing of your children.

After only 2 wks I got myself a job paying a good salary but did keep in touch with him..he is so loving and attentive and calls me every day in Skype and sends me messages every day on my mobile..

Same old story. Girl leaves boy, boy acts not like himself at all to get girl back.

Offers to send me money to go back out there and hopes after a few months I move back to live with him. He never asks for money and when I lived there he never took money from me.. He paid for everything.

So what, Becs? Just because he isn't asking you for money like some of the scammers on here do doesn't mean that this will make you happy.

And is your heart really for sale?

So now I am back in the uk and not found any decent blokes..

I understand that a lot of men in the First World haven't got clue one about dating, but if you talking to him every day, that can't be helping you move on.

You need to cut him off.

It's over.

I don't care if you have to uninstall skype or buy a new cell phone number. Get him out of your life! You are starting over the UK.

He was a jealous and controlling man who I suspect in some way just liked being with a Western woman.

Of course I am wondering why the hell I have left him when there were many times he made me happy..

Listen to me, Becs, even abusers make their partners happy at some points. You need to make the choice not to settle for this nonsense.

But I am forgetting the jealousy and possessive side and the fact my children would have to be Muslim and that life would be hard there in Egypt..

Yes, you are. Because in no small you keep talking to him and let him wear you down and let him have this influence over you.

But am I potentially throwing away a good decent honest man who seemingly loves me so much and that I don't doubt..

A good and decent man wouldn't want to control you so much. Insecure and inflexible characterize him better.

He's honest, huh? So what? Is that ALL you want? A man who will control you but is honest?

I am so scared to let him go but also wary of my future.. It's not about trust just the huge culture and stability of Egypt. I feel like crying most of the time as so lost in what to do... He has never used me for anything

Well, location has a lot do with it. He's not going to change. Even if he said he would, I wouldn't believe him. A desperate man can and does lose his sense of honesty.

Lots of women have never been used for anything .They just get boarded up in a house, can't have male friends and obey their partner.

and yet I left him which now feels so harsh!!

That is textbook male to female how to get a girl back. Make you feel like its your fault you left and/or planting regrets.

Seriously, get him out of your life, stay off the computer, block his number (or change yours) and go out more with in real life where you are now.

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