rant

Submitted by torp (United Kingdom), Apr 21, 2013 at 05:38

I find your post offensive. I'm glad you're safe and sound. But I think you've missed a few important points. I would not move in with a man when I had not spent time in his physical presence and, importantly, with his friends and family. How on earth else do you know what someone is like? Do you not think it would be equally possible for me to end up trapped with a drunken abusive illiterate testosteronised freak in the US? and the UK? There's certainly no shortage of them, and raising public feeling against them is only a relatively recent, and on-going, thing.

I find certain aspects of American culture extremely demeaning to women; beauty pageants, child beauty pageants, soft core porn which is relatively mainstream in some places. But that's it isn't it; it all depends on where you are in a country, and with whom. Slating a whole religion, or culture, because you failed to equip yourself with as much knowledge as possible, seems unfair; especially because most of your audience are not in a position to contradict any of it.

I studied, and live, in a European country in the very liberal capital city. But I have always kept my 'danger antennae' out, and so I picked up that some of the white 'Christian' young men from the best unis have misogynist viewpoints, and a nasty sense of entitlement (I'm referring to date rape) , that they manage to keep hidden quite well until you scratch their veneer.

Personally, I don't think you can be 'sure' of another person for a long time; but there are early important indicators whatever culture they're from. What are they like with their friends? Are they keen to meet your family and introduce you to theirs? Do you feel that their family are also scrutinising you, to see how you'd fit as a new member? Just seems common sense really. You can never tell if someone will turn abusive in the future, but you can at least spot the major skeazes with a bit of thought.

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