Players who don't have any boundaries

Submitted by Lilia (Russia), Mar 31, 2013 at 09:09

Lina, thanks for your response. Thanks so much for your advices.

I'm absolutely agree with you. Players and jerks can be in every country and every culture. But the main difference for me is that men who are players and who come from western culture are much easier to figure out. And to my opinion they usually have some boundaries compared to arabs. They may want your body, but never try to find a way to your soul and become a soul mates with you for example, that "soul mate" thing actually happened between that berber guy and me. To my opinion this arabs have no rules and no shame in what they do. Maybe that's why they seem so sincere at first. And then after they leave you, you still can't believe how such a nice person can be so pointlessly cruel. Sometimes I wonder how far they can go.

I think you were right when you wrote that their culture allows them to get away with this behavior, so they don't feel any guilt and feel good about themselves. And I also think that if they treat women without respect, it doesn't automatically mean that they are bad with their friends, family, kids etc. For them and people from their culture they are "nice". I remember when I showed picture of that berber guy to some of my friends, all of them told me the same: he is nice, he has kind eyes, he looks very open. You usually won't hear someone say this things about a total jerk. So I think that that guy was actually nice, but nice for his culture not mine.

And yes, words and actions are different things. And if you have to deal with many words and promises coming from a guy it's better to ask him straight forward to do something to prove his feelings. That's what I did with that guy. After few months of getting mixed signals from him, I was still in love with him but decided to end it. So after I told him that I want ending he wrote to me things that he never said before, how he loves me, how he will ALWAYS love me, how he regrets that things turned out like that, how wishes that I was the one he was married to now, how he wants to try again and again if I want. Then he broke his arm and sent me a photos of his cast. I felt sorry for him and started to write to him to cheer him up once in a while, I'm a human. And I felt that it started over again, he would ask me if I want to go to his city again, how great it would be if I go there etc. So I decided to stop it all and wrote to him that I want to try again, that I want a relationship with him, that I want him to come to my country and meet my parents, because he told me he loves me and its very serious thing in my culture. I wrote that I want a proof. I did it just to make him stop manipulating me, I knew he would never do something like that. After that everything changed he said that he still has feelings, but want to be friends "because he can't handle the distance". We don't talk anymore and I'm happy and free, date other guys, follow my goals. And I really hope he will never appear in a horizon, because this guy was like a drug to me.

Sometimes this story scares me, I just had fling with that guy, we didn't have any future perspective, but he still wouldn't let me go easily. That's why I think that arabs and other men from that culture have no boundaries.

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