Thanks anon1, Luna and x...

Submitted by Becs (United Kingdom), Jan 22, 2013 at 03:47

Thanks all of you for your lovely comments.. It may sound rather pathetic but they brought a tear to my eye. As such lovely inspirational words.. Luna expressing how brave and strong I am when in actual fact I don't feel brave or strong at all. God it is very very hard being back.. Prob not helping being that it's snowing and absolutely freezing.. Trying to find a job and living back with mum and dad when I am usually so independent... But once I have a job I can get my own small place.. Of course there is a small voice that tells me to get back on the plane to him but I do know the cycle will be exactly the same as anon1 commented on.. Going back and forth like a yo-yo to eventually end up where I am now anyway!! You are right the world is my oyster I actually have residence for Australia which means I can go and live and work there.. But at this moment I am focused on getting a job and saving money and getting my self confidence back as it has gone to zero!!! I never realised just how much he seemed to have chipped away at it.. As was mentioned in a post.. Love is just words.. During the day he worked so I stayed home alone after leaving work because he hated me talking to me and got incredibly jealous!!! I do love him which makes it harder but I know there is no future for me there and going back would only prolong the pain.. I do need to cut ties as him calling or skyping me makes it 10 times more difficult.. I am enjoying seeing friends and family but miss him for some strange reason..... But look at pictures of dirty streets I took to remind me why I should stay here.. And remember that most days I sat alone crying so it's bizarre I could miss this life.. The mind boggles.. Thanks so much though for your words of encouragement.. Helps talking to people from the outside.. Becs..

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".