Iraqi Man (comments from Luna)

Submitted by Guest (United States), Dec 10, 2012 at 00:46

Luna, thank you for your comments, would be most interested in talking to you further since you recognize a lot of similarities in my story

Your story sounds so familiar to me.I dont want to be harsh but I believe the best thing to do for yourself and for your daughter is to stay away from this guy. Everything sounds wonderful but I am absolutely convinced he is after visa. Plz Plz be smart and protect your family from the damaging consequences that will follow in case you make decision and marry him.

I admantly believe he is not after visa. He is afraid to leave Iraq to come to America and start a new life because he is muslin. He fears that Americans would never accept him and a job would be hard to come by. He is willing to leave Iraq to Lebanon, where we both like since they speak Arabic and English.

I have been living with Iraqi man and have a child with him. He swears not only on his mom but on our child too, and at the very same moment he knows thats a lie. He is a pathological liar and as I see his Iraqi friends do the same. Dont believe in everything he says, you dont know him. Lying to them is just a way to get what they want, they lie easily their spouses, in their minds it is acceptable to lie to a woman.

I was interested in this "swearing" that he does. he is very close to his mom, said that she is the most important person in his life, which after several conversations I can understand why. She raised 3 children after her husband died and put them all through college. He is very doting when it comes to his mother and told me he would never swear on his mothers life unless he meant it. Even if he swears and later needs to take it back there is a process that is followed, first the person you swear to must agree to let him take back the swear then you must give money to poor people...we talked many times about how he could prove how much he had fallen for me and this "swear" was the only thing he could do to prove to me. I don't know if it is a farce, but it is very hard for me to believe that he would out and out lie and use his mom in a swear to say something so meaningful, but that is why I am here to find out if I am just being gullible.

They are all very open minded until the day they get you and you become emotionally dependable on them, then you see how they really are. No such a thing as a liberal, open muslim arab man who has been raised in Arabia, no way, no, no, no, no..... Dont think he is what he wants to show you he is. They are all messed up mentally because of the way they grew up and the double standards which rule their lives and countries.

He is very interested in the Christian religion and said there are many christians in Iraq. He said he has read the Bible and likes its teaching much more than what he was taught. he is a man of reason and great conviction and has admitted that some of the ways of muslim is very wrong...like marrying more than one woman, or marrying within the family. he also believes that women should be independent, work if they want to, etc. His family, mom and sisters, wear western clothing and not the typical black robes and head dress. He was not raised in Arabia...but Iraq..not sure if there is a difference, but according to him muslins in different countries/areas such as Egypt are very different than Iraq.

The picture is clear to me. I have been through the same beautiful beginning, but then... I could spend hours to comment your post and speak of my horrible experience with one of these Iraqi men. I know his friends, no matter of the age, they are all the same liars.Dont fall for this. Dont be the next victim. Dont trust him, DONT!!!!

I would like to speak to you more about your horrible experiences...that is why I am here. We have been together for 2 years, 3 months and so far I have found no inconsistentcy. he is most afraid that i will get bored and leave him and he believes this is his one chance for true love and soulmate. Please reply again with your experiences.

You are in love with a fake, I think. 3 meetings is not enough time to see whats behind the mask he created so tactically. Dont be naive plz. I dont mean to offend you but I cant be silent when sense you are about to make a big mistake and to destroy your life and your childs one.

You have not offended me, I appreciate your honestly. Our first meeting he was so excited and nervous he was shaking, he wined and dined me and we had a beautiful time together. He cried when I had to leave and called me on my layover saying he could not even go back to the hotel because I was not there. He cried over the phone and said he would never ever forget me and hoped I would not forget him either. He said he could not hlep who his heart has chose to love and he knew a long distance relationship would be hard, but he would do what it takes to be with me again. He has told all his friends about me. many have spoke to me on the phone and it seems his family has accepted me as well. His sisters tell me they love me all the time and that I am lucky and he is lucky that we find such a great great love. I know it sounds fairy tale...but I can't for the life of me find anything wrong with him so far (other than small flaws)..which we all have. Please comment again.

Hope you could see the things the way they are! Wish the best to you!

Please comment again!! We could even email if that would be easier. Thanks again for your reply.

---

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".