Response & Immigration Procedure

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Sep 1, 2012 at 22:55

Well, I can certainly understand your disappointment. I'm sure its difficult.

The one thing I want to commend you on is that you don't seem to falling apart and have the attitude of "can't go on without him."

There's a couple of key things I want to address in your post and these are important.

It's pretty obvious that is man intent is marriage fraud. What happens with immigrants who commit such fraud against American spouses is usually never sudden. It takes months---I've noticed mostly years---for them to get established.

I have no doubt that he needs money to pay for all the fees and expenses in order to get proper documentation.

Once the immigrant has a good grasp of English and a driver's license, that is when they leave.

My guess in your situation is that you won't end up with an extreme situation like paying his way for 10 years just because it's relatively early in the process and you aren't willingly committing fraud with him. A lot of Americans are happy to go along with it. A lawyer should be able to help out the details.

Unfortunately, I have to concede that you may not get off with no loss either, not so much because of immigration but because of the nature of these kinds of separations. Since you are married, I'd imagine he'll put a fight and I have no doubt that his boss and place of work will be supportive of him.

The situation with his children is pretty unfortunate, but all I can say as a guy is that if you give money thinking it'll help his kids I can pretty much promise you that he'll use it for his own agenda. If he's getting cash under the table and isn't paying taxes, he ought to be able to help his considerably more than if he were in their home country.

BTW, have you met his kids? If you haven't, he might just be making it up. It wouldn't be the first time something like that happened.

Don't be surprised if he throws the book at you once he realizes you are serious about ending this. A lot of their game counts on you being emotionally invested and playing off of that. Expect big emotional reactions from him. He might try and blame you, cry his way out of it, buy you flowers, etc. It's really not that much different from American guys.

Contrary to what some refuse to believe on here, men are men no matter where they come from.

I would encourage you to keep on the path you are going and it sounds like a really good one.

And I understand just wanting to get this over with. Patience will probably be one of the harder parts to state the obvious, but feel free to post on here again if you are getting frustrated or have more questions or whatever.

Once it's all said and done, though, don't be surprised if months or years down the road he tries to contact you again. Users and manipulators seem to think that the passage of time gives them another opportunity.

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