My baby

Submitted by Married to one (Canada), Jul 17, 2012 at 15:34

It's extremely confusing right now. The for sure thing is that no matter what once a year our child will go for months in his country. It was not scaring me because I knew he would bring her back after. But lately we are having discussions I really don't like , like he keeps reminding me it's his baby ( not mine ) in case of divorce the baby goes with him or his family. ( because I will not be good enough to raise the child) even now I'm wearing hijab, praying 5 times a day, doing ramadan. I'm doing every single thing for him I listen to him, I'm more a maid than a lover I think.

Anyways I got myself in this. But the thing is I'm into my last weeks of pregnancy and I start to feel like I shouldn't be attached to my baby because I know one day he can take off and I will be left with nothing. He will come back here but the child will be overseas forever. I just can't believe why this absolutely ridiculous law of the kids has to belong to the father in case of divorce, why is that? For the kids sake I believe they need to know both parents. And then once your child get kidnap what happens? They are being brainwashed I'm assuming. Being told that their mother didn't want to make effort to stay with them, that she is a bad person and all that kind of bullshit.

My husband told me, if you want to see your child , you will stay even if it's a nightmare for you and if you think your not happy then leave but without the child and you will never see her again. It's in those moments you realized that you just screw your life up and your child life as well most likely. Because that child will never get the love he or she needs , all she or he will have is the religion and that is all! And god knows what can happens to girls in a muslim country that has no parents. It's the hardest thing ever to know I will soon give birth to a baby that's not mine. Yes I'm talking negative yes, I know there is absolutely nothing I will be able to do. Marrying one is 1 thing but having kids it's a total different story. In my case anyways. I'm hopeless and scared.

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