To Anna

Submitted by Irene (Denmark), Mar 25, 2012 at 06:59

Dear, I am reading your last post and I really want to help you somehow to let this pain go away! But how could anyone do. Time is all you need, and all that will help. You are missing him to death and you will for a long period. Love is not something we can put in the trash bin and walk away. But you know what you need to do and you have to keep it. You will feel better some day, and that day is not that far away. And you should know your daughter deserves better life than being in a witness of a cheating father, humiliated and sad mother and no respect and trust at home. Is it what you want her to learn from you, because she will choose the same type of a man later in her life and she will repeat the same family model because thats all she would have knowledge of.

Of course she will love her daddy, and as a good mother I have no doubts you will not destroy their father/daughter connection. But some day when she is able to understand she should know your reasons to get divorced and live apart. A bad husband does not always mean a bad father. And you need to make that difference for her to understand. For the sake of your girl is to feel he loves her and he was a good father for her.

But all this will come with the time Anna. Dont think of all now, dont blame yourself, dont try to predict how it will be. Just do whatever you have to do now, organize your new life and do your best to feel better with yourself. And all the rest will come easier than you think now. I have spent 2 years beating myself up for what I was up to do . to leave my son father. I was feeling like a bad mother because I am taking my boys chance to have a father in his life. I was on the way to lose my mind, blaming myself every moment of my day. See us now, I know I did the best for my child. His father doesnt care about him AT ALL. He doesnt even want to spend 1 hour with him, no concern how his boy is, no consciousness, nothing. Because he will not be raised as a MUSLIM. OMG!!! He is not able to love truly and unconditionally even his own son.

I worry how I will explain one day why your daddy doesnt think about you, of course. My heart is bleeding from now when I am having the picture of my sons pain, but....... I dont blame myself any more. I did the right thing. And Anna I know how much you miss him. You have just lost part of yourself and your life. I spent 16 months crying almost every day for my ex. I was able to make a step, to make a thought, to look at my baby without dreaming of having what I had again. But what I had before it wasnt him, it was a FAKE ONE. I was ready to forgive him everything and start over every next day, but..... another lie was coming out at the same time. Thats how God helped me. He kept my eyes open, proving how bad liar and a cheat was my ex I finally I found the strength to stay away and not to think about life back together. I know how damn difficult is especially when you have a kid, because you cant just cut all the contacts off and start healing on your own. NO!!! He would be behind you all the time, making excuses with your child, but the main reason is going to be YOU not the kid. Or let me say HIMSELF, and his countless attempts to get you back, for his own sake.

DONT LET HIM TO MAKE YOU FEEL WEAK. Dont look back. Keep your eyes open. Keep your mind clear with what you really want for your future. He is a worthless piece of garbage! He doesnt matter any more! You do! Be strong! Soon it will be much easier!!!

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