Heartfelt response on Turkish boyfriend---Canada, Muslim relationship Islam

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jan 29, 2012 at 23:27

Hi there

First of all, let me just say that people don't just stumble on this site. If you are on here, you're clearly looking for something, and in your case, you are obviously trying to figure him out.

This has nothing to do with Turkish culture. In fact, many of the stories on here are more about biology and gender than culture.

As a guy, I can tell you that he is sending you mixed messages He wants you in his life at the very least yet wants you to move on. He's the one who ended the relationship. He's the one who told his parents on the same night, though the significance of that isn't explained in your post.

I would say it's just time to move on and I'm not sure you can do that with him hovering around you or being in your life based on how you still feel. He still might have residual feelings for you as well, which is why he can't let you go so easily.

Where the cultural element may come in is that his parents may not approve of the relationship. Yes, even in the 21st Century West some parents still feel that way, especially with the levels of immigration we now have to North America.

" He asked me if I do get a boyfriend....and lets say he decides he wants to be with me finally...what would I do/say?"

I think you need to tell him that you are done with this relationship and are moving on, not that you even owe him an explanation (remember, he broke it off, not you). And from a male perspective, no decent guy is going to want to waste his time on a girl who is hung up on someone else.

My suggestion is to cut communication off with him. If that means deleting him off of social networking sites, messengers or whatever then do it.

If you keep hanging around him, he won't respect you, meaning that he'll just see you as a back-up to what he wants, and it could be that he won't be serious with someone that his family and parents don't approve of.

I hope that offers some insight into your situation, and I can understand your curiousity and desire to understand the details of things, but the fact of the matter is even if you press him for explanations, you're not likely to be satisfied.

Also, please feel free to come back as often as you like.

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