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Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Do not know what to tell you

Submitted by Lina (United Kingdom), Jan 25, 2021 at 20:28

Of course there are exceptions, but then Muslim marriages are generally no more successful than those of non-Muslims. I have been mistreated by a Muslim man and I have also been spoiled by one. However, in both cases I felt objectified and that if I were to "rebel" (which I often did lol), then I would be exposed to the man's wrath. In effect, I was treated well as long as I was obedient. Although in my case the material gifts were never a substitute for freedom to be my true self.

Anyway what I can say is, whenever a problem occurs the blame is usually placed on the wife in question. For example, if a husband loses interest, then the wife is the one that needs to make an effort and so on.

As for my friends, I have no idea as most are what I would call "good" women, very reserved, homebodies etc. Although they've told of husbands cheating, withholding intimacy or taking it without permission... one guy held his hands to her throat because she wanted to do something for Eid... the list goes on. And again marital abuse does indeed occur under all (mainly Abrahamic) faiths but I feel that, unless a woman has a strong family or support network, resources for abused or at risk Muslim women are limited. In a male dominated society, she will rarely find someone on her side. What I'm trying to say is, no woman is safe unless she's protected, regardless of her background. For instance, a Western woman from a higher class is less likely to be exploited than one from a dysfunctional upbringing.


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