Excellent comment

Submitted by Chelsea (United States), Mar 15, 2020 at 14:24

Your comment is so helpful. Even to us who have recovered. I don't think we will ever truly understand the "how could they?" thing. To use another person for self gain is not love and it is still hard to believe that someone who claims to love you could put such a strain and demand on another.

Be it woman or man, be it christian or muslim, all that aside...it is predatory behavior and is very wrong. Most of these guys that use women, first of all are not men. They have no honor. They shouldn't ever be respected. Although in the culture they are raised in...they are little kings and the woman is only there to serve them.

They seek the vulnerable, they know the game. It is not wrong to be in a vulnerable place in life. We all have those times, however when we are vulnerable...that is when we are to be very careful in decision making that could alter the path of our life.

Sweet words are nothing compared to the actions of love. Love will not seek its own. Love will not put a burden on you. Love will put you first, not just in words but actions.

Stay strong is easier said that done, but you can overcome. But you can't overcome unless you go NO CONTACT. Don't respond to him in any way and make yourself not look for him. Put your mind on other things. As a 5 year survivor...I can tell you that in time, you will not even think of him. But if you have contact, you fall prey to his fake charms and lies. My ex sent me an email and was demanding that I skype him. Demanding I return in 15 days. Thank God I had a friend with me who was male and had served in the war. He grabbed that phone and told him to MAN UP and quit manipulating me. He told him that I was a good woman and that he had put alot of his service friends in the ground. He showed my ex what a real man was. Right after that I moved to a secure location and he never got the opportunity to have any more of my time on skype or otherwise. I shut down facebook and removed all triggers.

Last I heard from him...he had made it to Canada (he is banned from the US). He told me I could be with him there and that he was waiting for my answer. Well he is still waiting. He will be the rest of his life. I can't help but wonder if he used some poor woman to get there. Anyway thank God for the other woman....she's got my problems now.

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