aiwa

Submitted by Jordana Ghannam-Ahmed (United States), Mar 6, 2020 at 01:05

Aiwa you Make many good points. I by no means am insinuating that only a particular stereotype of woman is vulnerable to this type of "activity" for lack of a better term and of course any man any ethnicity any religion any nationality etc etc etc is capable of abusive exploitative controlling demanding chauvinistic patriarchal d-bag behavior to any woman of any of the above as well including his own (I.e. American man to American woman and so forth). However the reality is, these men (referring to MENA men specifically here, and majority probably Muslim, and of a particular socioeconomic status and background (that simply due to the Middle East/North Africa region being a majority Muslim one and also the cultural environment one which is not often a economically stable or optimistic one nor a forward thinking intellectual and open minded one; keep in mind I have to use some broad concepts as this could be debated to no end if we picked apart all the exceptions and inclusions etc). And these men of this background and circumstances do not seek to or act upon their female counterparts in this way (I mean a Egyptian man will not find a potential victim in an Egyptian female, Syrian man to Syrian female and so forth). Firstly, the uncouth and déclassé and shameful behavior would NEVER be permissible within their own culture etc. I cannot explain and drive the point hard enough how unacceptable and disgusting this is to all morally upright and decent MENA people regardless of gender or age or socioeconomic status it's viewed in such as way as to be akin to raping ones own mother for example that should make no mistake about the severity of the offense. They cannot victimize their own Bc They simply wouldn't be able to and have no incentive to do so. I'm not saying it's because of some deep seated respect for women of their own ethnicity far from it; it's becuse they cannot get away with this myriad of forbidden and shameful and in untolerated things. We understand this and also have an expectation as our families that western women do not. I cannot speak for all countries of course but in Egypt and syria and Palestine despite what ppl think disrespect or abuse of a woman is NOT tolerated allowed justified and the consequences of such behavior would be dire, not to exclude possibly death. Secondly and more importantly , these men are opportunists, they are seeking one or more things unavailable to them in their own country with a female of their own country etc. That could be one, any or all of: citizenship/green card/immigration capabilities, SEX, financial support or gain, getting off the hook for dowry, being able to justify bad behavior or controlling rules using the pretext of religion as its likely this woman is of a different faith and would not likely be ready to debate and correct him theologically, she would be easier to lie to and mislead as there can be physical distance there, he can continue to better himself/do nothing/seek marriage in his own country in addition to and without the knowledge or consent of, this western woman, and because there is a very commonly held belief in lower class families in MENA society than western women are morally corrupt and promiscuous. Sexual repression and little job and economic opportunities are the driving factors here make no mistake. Also, right or wrong, they often DO target women of a particular type as well, that's not to say there isn't exceptions Bc this is by no means inclusive; but divorced women older women overweight women or women with low self esteem low self confidence lonely on the rebound with children, unable to have more children, naive or trusting women, low education, Or alternately highly educated wealthy women who lack in companionship or some other area which they will seek to fulfill and therefore get access to the checkbook so to speak. They may also find young attractive single mothers or divorcees as great potential as they can easily claim to be the one "Prince Charming" who is "different" and more gentlemanly and given the dating reality of America with the weirdos and unsolicited dick pics and expectations of putting out and all kinds of sloppy and unbecoming behavior, that isn't surprising that it would be appealing to look and pursue outside the immediate box in which one is accustomed. Like I may have shared, one of my closest friends I have become a big sister to is a girl I met via this forum about four years ago who reached out to me via email to speak privately regarding her situation and my advice to her; she is very young early 20s an extremely beautiful and kind and intelligent, caring, moral, old fashioned values kind of girl with two small children from an abusive ex husband, who has little family presence and support (she's an immigrant/refugee in a western country from Eastern Europe) and she's very very genuine and smart and capable of attracting and being loved by a good quality handsome man anywhere she'd like, yet she fell prey to an Egyptian low life young punk, and I'm trying to show her how to be happy on her own so she can better discern and be most emotionally healthy for mr right when he does come along and not to be hung up on or destroyed by one moron. Even my husband have got invoked and tell her that look, he's Egyptian and he feels embarrassed but even the good ones from good families etc are potentially and quite possibly, of this "other" undesirable type and to always be vigilant and have her guard up and specific tests to run against any potential love interest, that will reveal his true motivations and intentions that a genuine and well intentioned MENA man will not take offense to And will be understand and expect a woman for running thru with them and more than happy to oblige and have nothing to hide.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".