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Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: Hard to get

Submitted by Lana(USA) (United States), Jan 10, 2020 at 01:55

I could not say it better!

Hello everybody

The problem is that most of the time we are guilty of projecting our core values, beliefs, hopes, traditions, and our way of upbringing- onto someone from completely different culture and beliefs, assuming and applying those qualities we want to see in men, which are not even remotely there.

We expect them to treat us the way we treat them, or the way we want/hope to be treated, and this is the beginning of the problem.

We do not know them, yet-we hope that they turn to be the way we want them to be, which is not necessary true in reality.
We want to see in them someone we got used to, dreamed of, painting it in our heads "happily ever after".
We behave around them completely differently ,compared to the women from their culture.
n some ways -we are exotic and strange to them too, and this is what attracts them to us on a first place-independence, free spirit, being smart and witty, being new and different,but then-the culture and traditions take over, and they could clearly see that we will never be the women from their culture, we are too independent to be their scapegoats and to convert -just because they want us to, or submit to just to fit in their "molds" they want to put us in, not out of our own choice, but because they want us to.

Later-they turn to their women when it is time to marry and have a family, kids, keeping the tradition and culture within,preserving it.

We are mutually exotic to each other, but then when the haze of the feelings(if any) disappears-the true reality comes to play.They see us a s a good way to fool around, have fun, bad ones even try to also get what they need (sex,money,visa), but nothing serious when it comes to commitment.

A dead end road-for majority of us, from the beginning(with a few exceptions of cause).

Take care.


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