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Women's rights

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men

Submitted by Lina (United Kingdom), Jan 1, 2020 at 16:12

As with non-muslim marriages, the quality of a muslim marriage of course varies and couples can certainly lead happy, fulfilling lives. As a muslim woman you would have certain rights BUT you must remember, they will always come second to a man's.

The main rights that a Muslim woman has are:

1.) The right to financial support and a loving home to raise kids in

2.) The right to sexual pleasure

3.) The right to choose her son's spouse

Anything else will be at your husband's mercy. For instance, travelling overseas or being allowed to leave the house without permission.

As for divorce, it's allowed under certain circumstances (mainly if she's being denied the first right) but in practice it's extremely difficult for the woman. Women are usually told to either endure their suffering or try harder to please their husbands. This is where things go really wrong, because this could range from anything, from an unfaithful husband to one that raises his fist, and in either case the woman will be made to believe that it's her fault. She just needs to be a "better" wife. In this case men are viewed as a kind of career choice, which again is troublesome and can make way for a lovely little setup of financial abuse.

And this is a point that lots of western women will and will have found quite problematic because we are not used to bending our morals to suit a man. Generally, the only women that can deal with this mentality are those that are people pleasers, or very submissive. Again quite dangerous because abusers and predators usually gravitate to these types of women.

Some Muslim women are lucky and they find a man that is more liberal and/or supports them both financially and spiritually... but many, many men abuse the power given to them which is why you need to be clear upfront about the kind of life/rights you desire. Because those same rights will be mirrored by your daughter. Nevertheless, you WILL be told what to do, if not by your man, by his family, so unless you're the obedient type (or are fortunate enough to have a more modern man - confirmed by how his female relatives are treated) you will have a lot of conflict and will most likely end in divorce.


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