3 readers online now  |  69 million page views

So sorry for your pain

Reader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men
in response to reader comment: I have just been through the same

Submitted by Lana(USA) (United States), Dec 30, 2019 at 13:41

Hello Helena
I am so sorry for your pain!
I know how it feels being emotionally invested in someone,whose culture dictates his future!!! I was in your shoes once too...I left him ,as it was a dead-end road for me.

Unfortunately traditions are engraved in their brain from the childhood.
Most of the time-we and them have two very different understandings of the relationship.True pious Muslims are not even allowed to date prior to marriage,they are not allowed to be with someone of the opposite gender one on one or tough that person,unless it is someone from the family,as it is against their beliefs and teachings,it is not part of their relationship.
Western women do not have that knowledge and often fall for a handsome guy from exotic country, projecting their hopes and dreams to him, without knowing and understanding his beliefs.
Bad guys see this lack of knowledge and nativity at times and take advantage of it to their gain.He may tell you anything to have you to trust him-so that he can use you any which way he can ,while to his family and friends he will pose as a "modest man",waiting to get married to his second cousin(for example).
But until then it it ok to play with infidels like us,because to them it does not counts.Sorry,if I may sound harsh but this is the blunt truth!

In their culture more likely it is predestined by the family.
If they go against their family and marry someone outside their culture they will be cut off the family support and ties.
Only a few are dare to do so.
I hope that with time your emotional wounds will be healed and you will meet a decent person from your own culture and it will work great for both of you.
Sometimes it is better to let go something that kills you ,even if it kills you emotionally to let it go,but in a log run,you will see that it was only for the best.
Most of non Muslim people have very hard time to fit in to their traditions and culture-as it is an opposite pole from what your life is.

Take care.
Hugs
Lana

Submitting....

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

Comment on this item

Mark my comment as a response to So sorry for your pain by Lana(USA)

Email me if someone replies to my comment

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".

See recent outstanding comments.

Follow Daniel Pipes

Facebook   Twitter   RSS   Join Mailing List

All materials by Daniel Pipes on this site: © 1968-2021 Daniel Pipes. daniel.pipes@gmail.com and @DanielPipes

Support Daniel Pipes' work with a tax-deductible donation to the Middle East Forum.Daniel J. Pipes

(The MEF is a publicly supported, nonprofit organization under section 501(c)3 of the Internal Revenue Code.

Contributions are tax deductible to the full extent allowed by law. Tax-ID 23-774-9796, approved Apr. 27, 1998.

For more information, view our IRS letter of determination.)