Don't do it

Submitted by Misau (Netherlands), Nov 14, 2019 at 14:53

Hello Caz,
Don't go, don't test him. Forget him because this will turn out in nothing than trouble for you.
Egyptian men are very manipulative, they get what they want, however, whatever, whenever.
Believe me. Don't make the mistakes i made. For more than 2 years i believed my younger ' husband' to be. Me 51, he 29. We met at a boat trip, had nice and good chats and accidentally met the next day.
I was careful, kept him on distance ( because he is Egyptian and I knew stories about Mena men) but we exchanged phone numbers. Days later when I was home he send me a friend request on social media page.
We started chatting every day, calling, talked for hours.
After 6 weeks I went back to Egypt and i fell in love during the days we spend together.
It was a very good week and after we talked on the phone and wrote each other many times in the day.
He asked me to bring some clothes for him the next time, and I did.
Each time I came he asked for more and more, a speaker, my old iPhone, diving vins etc.
Than he asked me for money because he needed this or that.
Always sweet talks when he needed anything., always it was for us, our future. Well it turned out it was for him, himself, the big selfish ego.
He did like yours did; after short time he started to speak about money for the marriage, flat etc. but I didn't give him this, in time it will come when we know each other better.
We had orfi and in this way we could stay together.
Than he wanted drivers license, I payed for it. After he needed a car...for us for when I came and to go on his own to work he said. I didn't agree but somehow he manipulated me so that I gave him money for a car. He bought a very old ( bad) one so he needed money to fix it. If the relationship should end for what reason he would give me the money I gave, back to me...
Than he quit his job and started a restaurant with half brother, a business for yourself is better than work for boss, better for us, better for our future because than I will get a visa to visit you in Europe. He needed money, because he didn't have enough so I gave him this, as a loan. He quit after 2 months, the money was gone, all was in goods for the restaurant his half brother continued but couldn't pay him this money back.....in time he said but they had a fight so don't speak to each other.
I visited him 3-5 times a year en during the time I was in Egypt he started to sleep in the days more and more. Not caring about my needs, my intentions to go and do something. We fight about this many times and by the time I thought about breaking up with him he changed into a nice loving man. Like he felt he was losing me
In time this sleeping in the day happened more and more.
He didn't work, quit his job for some stupid reason and couldn't find other job. He decided he wanted to learn my language, so I send him books, payed for course by private teacher, but after a few lessons he quit because he didn't like the teacher. He would learn on his own....well till now he learned 3 or 4 words.
When I was at home in my country I didn't hear from him like before, calling and texting became less and less. Speaking about it gave him bad moods and that made him ignore me. I had to understand him, he had such difficult live...
In June this year we had a nice time, he said he changed and learned. He asked me to marry him and asked me to collect all necessary documents to get married in Egypt last month.
Well I did collect, payed a lot of money for translations and legalization of all by the authorities.
I had a feeling before I flew to Egypt and that feeling was right: he didn't have his documents and the excuse was that I surprised him I had mine ready.....WHAT???? He knew before I came...
The studio I rented since months and he lived in was a mess when I arrived..I stayed calm for 3 days but than I almost exploded: I cleaned, cooked and took care of all and he....he was sleeping 12-15 hours.
We had a huge fight and I packed my belongings and went to a resort.
He stalked me on the phone in every possible way because he wanted to speak to me.
End of story: all is my fault, I wasn't nice to him, I say stupid things, I'm a nervous person....he isn't to blame for anything.
I told him I feel used, played with but you know: I gave him the opportunity to do. I believed his sweet words that he was different, yes he was the first year with exceptions...He was just a good actor.
Till now he tries to be part of my live by sending me messages, manipulating me. Some das he is very nice and loving but that can change within a minute in bad mood, He has no money, he is sick, has nothing to eat, stays in family home with his sister but she doesn't take care of him etc etc. he hates his live and is a victim he says.
I didn't get any money back, you gave this to me and this is the Egyptian law was his answer.
I'm emotional a wreck, financially just surviving. All my savings went to him and for the time i was with him.
I was naive, believed in love but should have listened to my feelings and the red flags that I did see.
Recently I discovered this forum on internet. In my own language there is no forum like this otherwise I would have ended the ' relationship' with this awful human being much earlier.
Writing this and reading my own words I feel so stupid, so naive...I was always a strong independent self supporting woman with a clear mind and my own opinion....I must find myself again.
I love Egypt but I will never return.
Take care of your heart, find a nice good man anywhere but not a Mena man.
With love, Misau

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