To Lani - You've Answered Your Own Question

Submitted by Full of Wonder (United States), Sep 22, 2019 at 22:22

Even though it was nearly two months ago, I'm sorry for your loss and congratulations on the success of being pregnant again. Now, run away, fast. Love is easily mixed up with lust and manipulation. A partner who makes you feel badly about who you are and your decisions, is an abusive partner. It doesn't matter about the culture. Making excuses for his bad behavior is a red flag. Everything that feels wrong about what he's doing and saying are red flags because they are making you question things. Him gaslighting you is a red flag. Him blaming you for his frustrations is a red flag. Do you really want to have him remain in your life just because he's the father of your child?

Don't let him guilt trip you over this last piece. Seek out a licensed social worker or psychologist for help for you. Sit down with them once a week and whatever you do, don't tell your husband. He will not want you to seek help because keeping you off balance and vulnerable gives him power.

You staying with him allows him to keep that power. It's a hard break to make but you can do it. Think of your unborn baby and the kind of life you want for him/her. Then go get yourself a support team of friends, family, and professional help, and run away as fast as you can.

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