RE: Let Me Just Leave This Here!

Submitted by Tina (United States), Aug 20, 2019 at 12:45

Becca,

This is a very up lifting message and your situation gives good examples of what loving yourself means and looks like. I myself dated a Saudi for 4 years on and off and deeply regret it. The turning point for me in the relationship was the minute I started loving myself was the moment I ended it. I came across an old diary of the day I decided to end things with him. I wrote I have come to the realization that I can no longer be in this relationship because I love myself to much to continue to be in this situation. I said I it saddens me because I love him so much but in the end I must choose myself.

Through reading the women's stories on here I see so much of his manipulative tactics. I now understand why just on a cultural level it would never work out. Why would I want to be with a man who's family would have hated me just because of what I stood for as an American? I feel lucky in the fact that my ex never made promises of being married. It was always lets just enjoy each moment we have with each other and part ways when its time. Unfortunately feelings and emotions got in the way and what was suppose to be a 1 year thing turned into 4 years and having a long distance relationship with him in Saudi. I knew what I was doing was stupid and therefore I hid my relationship from friends and family. I figured what was the point of bringing him completely into my life if this was never going to form into anything? I was ok with this type of relationship because I myself didn't want to be married at the time, but once I knew I wanted it I said ok enough is enough. You are stopping me from moving forward and no longer are up lifting.

Now I have a co worker in my shoes and it is absolutely gut wrenching to watch. She is dating a Moroccan and he sounds a lot like the guy you mention here. I have done a lot of research of Morocco and have pulled from my knowledge of what I know about Islam and the culture from my ex. My ex may have been manipulative but he was a stand up guy who refused to take money from me and would give his last $5. So when she started telling me how he makes her pay for so much but yet he buys $400 t-shirts I told her something is very wrong here and you need to run or do some research before you get to involved.

But all this really doesn't matter because like your post leads with, if you love yourself enough you would never find yourself in this situation in the first place. I have pretty much stopped giving my friend advice and telling her this guy is lying to her I now just focus on telling her to practice loving herself and taking a step back from things to do this.

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