Didi

Submitted by LANA (USA) (United States), Aug 5, 2019 at 23:51

Dear Didi
This jerk is not worth a second of your thought!
He knows exactly that at this moment in your life you are very vulnerable,not to mention the hormonal changes that affect your mood.
As soon as you start living your life,he will be calling you-to remind you about himself.
Who does he thinks he is-to come and go in and out of your life as he pleases???
The reason he does it-is to remind you about him,as soon as you started to mend yourself, and to see if you still into him.
This way they could tell if his emotional hooks are still in your brain.It gives him a boost,even from negative emotions from you as to him it would mean that you still remember him and he "still matters" and means something to you.Then-he will try harder to get what he needs and could care less if he hurts you or not!
It is another way to manipulate you and your emotions.
No matter- if he has dozens of other girls,just like you in his harem,and rotates them time to time.
He does not care if you hurt or not,as to him you are only an object and his puppet to play with when he is bored or needy,with no feelings.Oh,and if you have something that he may benefit from,he will try to take advantage of you again and again,one way or another.

So don't cry over him,be happy that it is over!!!!Get really mad!!!!

No he did not change!
He never will!
Trust me!

PLEASE STAY NO CONTACT,EVEN IF IT HURTS AS HELL ,AND FEELS LIKE YOU ARE GOING TO FALL APART-YOU WILL NOT!!!!

He may continue to bother you saying that he wants to have you back just to use you again ,and then -dump you,to show that he is in charge of when to break up this so-called "relationship" and it is his decision,not yours!
SO BETTER BE THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY,than one who got dumped.

I wrote it in my posts earlier, that mine did contacted me again,he even dared to mention God and wanted to hoover me back,saying of how much he missed me and that he went to his country and brought me a present,and so on.
I did not bother to respond,so that the next day he wrote:"Dismissed".(Like I ever care at all))))For him-option "second chance"-was successfully disabled!))) He was dismissed a while ago,like he never ever existed!!!
What a waste!!!
Pathetic,bleak loser!!!

That showed me how "much he missed me and loved me".He did not realized that I dismissed him a while ago and was laughing at his so predictable and immature manipulative behavior.

Too bad that we can not write in front of our hearts"please wipe your feet" before you enter it,like some rugs say at the house entrance.So we should not let someone lousy to crawl back into our life again.
Love is a verb,it is a will to give and not to take from the loved one.
If you do not see it in his actions and not words then he is an illusion in your head of how things could be but never was,and-trust me-never will be.So let go of this illusion and move on.
Let that clown out of your life,let him perform for somebody else.
You deserve much better:a real man,who will treasure you and will never make you doubt his intentions, the one who will make you feel cared for and protected.
You are very hurt and vulnerable at this moment and is it's an easy way for someone to manipulate you to the state of cognitive dissonance.
This is very dangerous!
The more you confused, puzzled,scared-the easier it is for him to get what he wants from you!!!

I was in the beginning of such thing but was able to pull it off before he got me completely!

In modern world everyone can be anyone behind the computer screen,so you have to be very careful with what and whom you are sharing your personal information that could be easily used against you.

So,please read as many articles as you can on Narcissism and hovering.
Keep a journal to write down your thoughts,but don't share it with him,keep it to yourself.
The more you confused,puzzled,and hurt,those predators prey on you and your emotions making you an easy target.

Remember that YOU AND ONLY YOU are responsible for your own happiness .You should seek it inside of you.And that is why it is very important to be by yourself for a while so that you can hear your inner self!

No one has a right to dictate how your life should be,no matter what!
You can go on a trip to a pretty destinations,such as for example,Italy,read an interesting new book,learn new skills (painting for example)....World and life is so much bigger than him!
He may come and go but it is his choice,but you should not worry about him.
YOU ARE THE WHOLE BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG PERSON-with him or without.REMEMBER THAT!

Life has so many beautiful things to see,to learn,to explore-you don't need him to show them to you.You can do it yourself!!!

You have to find your passion for hobby(I found it in scrapbooking and photography.You can try it too.Or writing,or seeing/knitting,etc).
Life is beautiful and is open for you to explore.

Do not lose the sense of who you are,no matter what!
Don't let someone with his dirty feet into your life!

There is a good YouTube channel called SoulGPS,it has good information on how to get over the Narcissistic abuse.

He is an abuser,and you don't need someone who preys on you!
Especially someone who tries to fill in the gaps of missing information about this person with emotions and fantasy.

When you depressed and going thro tremendous emotional pain,you are not yourself.
Your emotions at times may block your intelligence and you will be craving for an illusion of the future faking,he created in your mind!You May be ruminating over and over in your head of how the things should be,but never was...Give yourself time to heal!

Stay strong and if you are writing the story of your life,do not ever let anybody else to hold your pen or dictate of how it should be!!!
I wish you all the best!
Hugs!

Lana

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