I can't do it..

Submitted by Didi (United Kingdom), Jul 23, 2019 at 17:19

Thanks for your honesty. I'm glad someone understands that this is normal feelings. Alot of it probably stems from disbelief that someone could be completely opposite to who you thought they were.

I of course will not be going through with the wedding in 19 days. After a few of his family members called to explain how me canceling the wedding was "hurting" everyone involved, I finally told him to call the facility to cancel and discuss any partial refund. I don't have the time to deal with it and I want to see if there is a refund if he will keep it or give it to me since I'm the one who paid for it anyway. I want to see where his head is.

His jealousy will not stop. He admitted it would be worse after marriage, bc I'd be "his" he says. And no many needs to be chatting with his wife, especially not male coworkers. He mentioned me moving to Morocco for awhile so his family can help with the baby.. but once I mentioned me working in Morocco, things changed. He then actually told me, "I forbid you to work after the baby is born."

I told him honestly that I don't trust him and therefore can't marry him now. He sighed heavily, the exclaimed how he had to win my affection once more, bc he just couldn't live without his family. Ha, he asked what it would take. I told him Idk, but let's start with him having a stable place to live without roommates and a stable job for longer than 2-3 months and we'll go from there.

I'm taking my wedding dress this weekend to a place to try to sell it. That'll help relieve alot of the melancholy. I'm not quite ready to delete the photos since I'm technically still talking to him and can't cut all communication, but I did move them to my cloud storage so they are out of sight, out of mind. And the busier he and I both get at work, we can't video chat as much. So hopefully, the attachment will slowly end. And we'll see what's left..

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