LIsten to your gut feelings!!!

Submitted by Lana(USA) (United States), Mar 22, 2019 at 19:58

Hello Shay

I am glad that you,unlike some of us,are using your head before moving forward too far,and not getting too emotionally involved with your guy.I see it as mutually agreed "friends with benefits" thing between two of you.
Please,forgive me if my words sound harsh and blunt,but I am speaking frankly of such things.

From your letter,I can tell that something inside of you is telling that there is something is wrong,
something does not adds up and you are hoping to find the answers here,which is great!!!

Just remember-the more people you hear from-the more opinions you may get,but after all-it is up to you to decide which one is right for you,as we can only make suggestions,give advice and support you if you need us to.

I think that most of the MENA men feel free to do what they want when they are not around their close family or their compatriots.It was even a part of teaching that it is ok to behave differently among non-Muslims,even sinning,as long as you do not admit to it.

It is ok to behave like that with infidels(non-Muslim) people.

I have to admit that this guy is very open with you saying the truth- he has no plans for the future with you,but just wants to have fun-as long as it is ok with both of you.

Keep in mind,that those kind of relationships may last for years,and most women will still expect to be married to their boyfriends,no matter how upfront and honest men can be,telling the truth,instead of future-faking to get what they need and drop you off whenever they find you boring or useless to them,while getting away with their needs.

In Islam there are no such things as dating,girlfriend/boyfriend.
And having sex with someone prior to marriage-means that you are no longer a marriage material to that man.

He may be using you at his convenience for intimacy,as long as you allow him to,or willingly agree to the things as is.Who knows,years later he will marry one of his own cousins-a Muslim virgin,childbearing age...but until then-he will use you-if you allow him to.

You are the one to make such decision-to keep the things this way,until one of you decides that it is enough,or let him go and make a room for something real and beautiful.

Best of luck to you!

Lana

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