Advices to get over toxic relations

Submitted by Jules M (Spain), Dec 19, 2018 at 06:39

I'd like to give some advices to all girls who are one the same situation as i was, in love with a MENA man. All this helped me to get over my toxic relationship. I hope this helps.

First: you should think of urself, be selfish, worry about u, recover ur old friends and go out with them and have fun.. Recover all those things u liked to do before he came to u, like sports, studies, reading, music.. That shitty man doesnt deserve u. if u have some trip u always wanted to do, do it and have a good time by ur own. Love urself too much, be self-centred, if u like clothes and makeup u should go to shops and buy beautiful clothes and makeup for u, just for u. And hate him, at first hating him u'll get over. Forgiveness wont come easly, but maybe one day u'll can forgive him and u'll madurate so wont hate him, u wont care bout him.

Second: Make a list of things u dont like of him and read it when u feel sad and when u miss him, when i was with my man i thought that he was perfect but when i got out of the bubble i saw he was really imperfect: u are over a guy who thinks that by watching bo.obs in webcam he discovered the world, someone who waste his time with millions, dont u waste many oportunities u'll have for him bc u have a future and a family who loves u, u'll get a good job and maybe u'll get a good man for u, one who doesnt cheat, who doesnt threaten u and give u freedom, bc love is freedom. Or maybe u'll be alone which doesnt mean at all u are incomplete. Soulmates dont exist, princes like Aladdin dont exist, u are complete by urself. U dont need a man who completes u.

Third: Dont waste ur time remembering the past, past is past u cannot change it, try to change future to make it better, move on: dont look for him, dont conect urself at social medias to know if his online, delate ur own accounts, delate all the things u have bout him: pics, words, whatever. Dont search anything related to him, his country, culture... not till u get better. dont listen the music he sent to u, those love and sad songs will make u unhappy, listen songs that make u realize u are better than him. I'll give u a list that helped me: Idgaf (Dua Lipa), Sit still look pretty (Daya), Thank u, next (Ariana Grande), Same old love (Selena gomez), Trust issues (Olivia o'brien), Dont kill my vibe (Sigrid), Ciao Adios (Anne Marie), You dont know me (Jax Jones), Toy (Netta), I ain't ur mama (Jennifer Lopez), Yes girl and like that (Bea Miller). These are my best. I listened to this almost all days and helped me.

What more can I say? Dont think what u had 2gether was special and that it was ur fault losing him. No, he is not special and u are special and u deserve so much better that that. It wasnt ur fault, just his. And maybe god will judge him and give him what he deserves.
When u feel better like u begin to be over him, u can inform urself about this, read bout islam, help other girls in same condition. That will help u.
I did this and it completely healed me, i read about everyting i could to understand what happened to me, i write for some blogs talking about this, i made myself a feminist, I met good muslims to delate all my hate... Move urself always, u cannot spend ur time looking at his pics and thinking how much u love him and crying. Be strong bc he doesnt care about u, he wont stand up for u so u have to stand up for urself.

Dont feel foolish bc he cheated that way, he is doing same to others, u are not stupid or weak bc of that. Never think that. They think of us we are desperate bc we need to find love online, but they are the only ones who are desperates. Remember that he isnt the excepcion, he wont make u any good in ur life, he'll control so cut him off.

With all my love to all girls hurt for this men. xxx

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