Hello Sadie and welcome to the forum

Submitted by Chelsea, Oct 3, 2018 at 21:12

You have come to the right place for frank and honest answers. We have been there.

From experience, I will tell you that I went through a whole year of hearing "I don't want America, I just want you" HA! 18 days after an overseas marriage I was shipped back to America and lovebombed into starting proceedings. He told me the Arabic woman at this place we went to for some paperwork of some kind that if I went back he would be in America in 2 months. HA!

2 years later, and hiring an immigration attorney, I felt trapped. Also found him online cheating again. HA!

I was in cognitive dissonance wondering what just happened?? It was smooth and it was a plan, however his plan failed. I pulled everything just in time. I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life and oh yeah he started that controlling, what have you got on stuff with me too. Finally I just told him..."hey, you wanted me back to America, so accept it" I had gone overseas to stay and did not sign up for his plans.

Yep. You gut is right. Listen...they all want to come to America. Who wouldn't really??

Western free women are really not a good match for their culture and truly, if you think about it, it is not easy for them either to adjust to western ways.

Oh yes they will make you feel sorry and responsible for them. But honestly....you don't owe them a dang thing. If your love was not enough...nothing will be.

It is almost 5 years now and every six months....he tests the water. Block block and block.

Since you asked, my recommendation would be to find yourself first and then let things flow into a relationship with someone who is from your culture. It is not so easy to immigrate to America now and the stress will eventually tire you to where you are done. Just be done now. No contact is the only way to get over and rid of a charmer. He will eventually move on.

Always look at actions, never words. They know the right things to say to get that dopamine running in your brain. That is why you feel addicted. It is nice to hear those words. They make you think they are such a man while you are lovebombed into submission to do their will.

Again welcome and thank you for sharing your story.

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